Older Not Wiser
Today is my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me.
Y'know, it's the one day of the year where you get free toys, and its the one day of the year when having the most toys makes you a loser. Weird, huh?
*sigh*
Yeah, I'm feeling a little lonely this morning, although Stu made me an awesome CD for my birthday, full of both appropriate tunes ("I don't wanna grow up" by the Ramones, for instance) and also songs we grew up listening to (how long has it been since I heard Rock Me Amadeus? Well about three minutes, but how long before THAT?), so that's nice. Oh blimey and now its Altered Images (with the obvious song given the day) and ahhhhhhh Clare Grogan.
So, what've I got today? Mainly cash, although Stu's given me the aforementioned mix tape, and a couple of DVDs which is neat. The question now of course, is am I going to spend this money frivolously (which lets face it, is the way I spend all money) or am I going to jealously guard it for a few days (or maybe hours) before spending frivolously?
We all know what I really want though, and sadly she's in Canada, far far away from me.
*sigh*
Like I said, older but no wiser.
Nostalgia Meal
So I went shopping twice today, once for what I wanted to get today, and then the second time because I totally failed to get the one thing I actually wanted the first time. Armed with a shopping list bearing the simple legend "Buy loo roll you fucking retard", I returned to the supermarket and accidentally found the sweetie section, and promptly helped myself to a small selection of things from when I was a kid: tooty frooties, chewits, jelly tots... basically stuff that's gonna make me sit down and go "Oh boy this takes me back!". I did finally remember to get the loo roll too, so that was good.
My eating habits have got so bad though, Duck'd kill me if she knew what crap I was eating, or more probably she'd just sit and wait a few weeks for my diet to kill me, I mean why should she put herself out if it's inevitable anyway? After my birdy I am seriously gonna have to rethink my dietary habits, cos the way I'm carrying on now, just goin' out and buying whatever junk I happen to fancy that day, that's no way to carry on, especially at my advanced (or at least advancing) age.
Mmmmmm Chewits. Hands up everyone who remembers the old Chewits ads on TV, when the monster would chew the bus? Ah, just me then? Bugger. They ARE chewier than a bus though, honest.
In other news, wtf is happening to this country? Yesterday at the New Labour conference, an 82 year old concentration camp survivor was physically ejected (on live national TV too! Seeing a group of large burly men man-handle this old man, and anyone who had the temerity to suggest that they might be over-reacting a little was something beyond even the Labour party's ability to spin, although god knows they tried) from the conference hall for shouting "nonsense" during Jack Straw's speech. Then he was charged and held under the governments new terrorismn act. Now, aside from the facts that;
i) Jack Straw
was talking nonsense &
ii) he's an experienced politician and isn't likely to be reduced to tears by a single heckler
I have to say: the terrorism act? For telling a government minister he's talking bollocks? He WAS talking bollocks, and you could prove it in a court of law! And Charles Clark said "No, we won't abuse these powers, you can trust us..." HA! Two things spring to mind here:
First, eternal smart arse Benjamin Franklin said "They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security", and
Second, this gentle erosion of our freedoms has been happening so slowly and stealthily, has been presented in such a careful fashion that few have realised what its meant. All along though, I have maintained that one day we will NEED the right to protest against our own government, and that right will be gone. I just didn't expect that day to be yesterday...
Ballad Of A Fat Man
Okay, I watched the other half of the Dylan documentary today, and it was really good. Maybe I was a bit hard on him the other day, calling him a bullshitter. See, watching him deal with the early peak of his fame, you understand how much he (apparently) dislikes the media attention, or at least the type of media attention that asks him to demystify his muse and creative process. Its also apparent how much he hated being 'the voice of a generation' and how he felt constrained by that (I love his answer when asked how many protest singers there are, "136" and the clueless reporter buys it...). So, now we see the older Dylan and he's a canny, wiley old fox, and he talks apparently candidly about himself and the times but really he's just deflecting the questions and leaving people in exactly the place he found them. Really, I think, he's all about the music, and says what he wants to say there - he's just learnt to handle the press better. I still can't get over the fans though, and how violently and unpleasantly they reacted to his change in musical style. I just hope all the retards who walked out on him when he was playing with what would later become The Band now realise what a seminal musical experience they missed. The prats.
What else? Ermmmmm it's rained. Burnout has reached such a height of blatant unfairness that I was microseconds from throwing my controller through the TV screen before I realised what consequences that would have. It took immense self-control, believe me. Immense.
I'm sure I've had other thoughts, but they've gone, like the polar ice-caps. Take a last look around people, it was a nice planet while it lasted.
Unfortunate Warning of The End Times
Yeah, I forgot this, but this morning, while I was waiting for the Jobcentre to open I saw the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I know it was them, because it said so on the side of the trucks, of which there were four, and they said "Live Horses" on them, which is how I put it all together you see? Bit of a shame if the world IS coming to an end, I was just starting to get to like the place again...
Contra Flow
Ah ha! Yay for me and so on. Yep, I've signed on (another hassle free signing day thank god) and now it's downhill all the way to my birthday! So I propose we begin the celebrations here, two days before the day itself and then another two days after, which brings us up to Monday October 3rd, and then we'll get down to business.
So.
Actually I don't have any great plans, just sitting about, playing games, listening to music, watching movies... actually pretty much what I normally do anyway, but without worrying that I should be doing something else.
Today was the first day I had to dig my old suede jacket out. The weather's getting colder, summer's finished and autumn is here.
The Penny Drops
Ah here we go. Now that I'm more used to the new Burnout the cracks are showing. Still an amazing game, but it will make you very cross on occasion because you and the AI drivers aren't playing the same game. Now that does cut both ways; I've traffic-checked them and I seem to be immune to the same effect from them, and similarly I have in event crash-breakers and they don't. But that said, they can magically catch you whenever necessary (I swear I was predestined to lose one race on Motorcity, cos I'd boosted for two complete laps, no crashes, lots of takedown action, when just as we approach the finish line another car shoots past me at half the speed of light until its a few meters ahead, and then stays at that precise distance till the end of the race. Now either it was going super fast and should've continued to pull away, or it was never that fast in the first place and it was just cheating. I know its only a game, but cheating AI is one of the things that always annoys the hell out of me (Civilization does it too, and that pisses me off) and really breaks the 'reality' of the game. The crash junctions are still good fun and better than BO:T, but so many times when you are certain you've fucked one up you come out with the high score, and I'm not keen on games rewarding random occurences over skill. Still, if it wasn't a kick-ass game, its flaws wouldn't bother me anywhere near as much as they obviously do. The thing which annoys me the MOST however, is the game's criminal inability to remember what colour I like the cars! I know its only a little thing, but if I don't see why cars aren't always in the last colour you selected, so when you've found your favourite colour you don't have to keep changing it from the default all the goddamned time.
In other news I've had another super fun evening with my girlie, and I am a happy rabbit. It's an unusual state of being, so let's not fuck it up eh?
No Direction Home
Ugh, late night last night. Chatting wit' my girl till so late it was getting early, and then awoken this morning by the postman bringing what I hope will be the first of my birthday parcels/cards. Which was nice. I am however functioning on a minimal amount of sleep, and feel like I've just come round after having been kicked into unconciousness (although that may be because I've just finished reading the excellent Football Factory), so excuse me if this goes astray.
The other cool thing I did last night, was watch the first part of Martin Scorsese's documentary about Bob Dylan, No Direction Home. Now this is about the early Dylan, about his early life right up until the moment he went electric in '66. It's been a fascinating documentary so far, containing an awful lot I didn't know, although I'm nothing like a Dylan expert, only an interested dabbler. Most interesting of all however are the contributions from the man himself, as obviously eloquent as you'd expect. And is he being disarmingly candid? No, I don't think so: I think everything he says is designed to appear candid and insightful, but actually when you get down to it, he doesn't really say anything, its all just charming fluff that makes you think what a top bloke he is, called by destiny to a greater purpose. Except, no. I think there's nobody more certain of Bob Dylans' undoubted talent than Robert Zimmerman himself, and whilst the humble act is clearly more appealing than someone who is sure of themselves to the point of arrogance, I still think it leaves him as much of a mystery as when we started. Which can only be a good thing. Anyhoo, the thing that REALLY shocked me about the movie is how rude the 'fans' were when he changed his musical direction, I mean they were really abusive and unpleasant, like they somehow had a right to the Bob Dylan they'd known before and that he himself had no right to change. Now I think why he changed was as much to do with sheer bloody mindedness as anything, he was becoming pigeon-holed as The Protest Singer, The Voice Of A Generation, and quite naturally that made him uncomfortable and he changed in as radical a direction as he could, in what looks like an almost deliberate attempt to alienate his established fans, so that he succeeded in doing so shouldn't really be a surprise. Still I dunno though, there's more of the movie to come tonight, so maybe I'll find out more then. Or maybe I'll just get more obfuscation and more of the Legend Of Bob Dylan...
Thoughts On Games
Total Overdose: I read a review of TO which basically said it was the best bad game they'd ever played, and I feel that's a pretty fair assesment. There's really very little here you haven't seen before in Max Payne and GTA, but somehow the game transcends it's inspirations and limitations, and is just damn good fun. I personally quite like the chunky style of the graphics, and the texture work is very nice, although the draw distance is short and can make driving fast even harder than it already is. And yeah, the driving in particular is ropey as fuck (the cars seem to be on the moon, traction is an alien concept, and the whole physics thing is so inconsistent that attempting to understand how your car handles will surely lead to the bitterest of disappointment), but the atmosphere and the shooting, ah the shooting bits, are so very very glorious that the designers of the game could come round to your house and kick you in the nuts for five minutes everytime you boot the game up, and you'd STILL play it. Make of that what you will.
Burnout Revenge is still impressing. The AI is indeed less infuriating this time out (I've not had the opposition 30 odd seconds in front with no hope of ever catching them in this one) it seems well balanced to make all races close fought things, which is obviously anathema to anyone who plays proper racing games and expects their skills to be rewarded but it's bloody good fun. The tracks and car selection are great, although I miss the continental run type point to point races from Burnout 3: Takedown. Crash mode is still better than last time, but the extra gimmicks just make it less good than the pure and simple genius of the BO2 crash junctions, and particularly what you need to do to score well is often painfully opaque (the prime mechanic here seems to be the number of cars caught up in your crash breaker), with what to the player look to be extremely good crashes scoring very poorly. In fact the ranking system as a whole needs a little tweaking I reckon, all too often (this is particularly noticeable on burning laps) you can race a really good, clean fast race, and only be rated Great, whereas you can be ten seconds slower, crash a couple of times but use boost almost constantly and be Awesome (which is better than Great, in case you wondered), but again this is easily solved by doing what the game wants you to do, which is drive fast and drive dangerously. So its not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but just like last years installment, its a game that constantly rewards you for having fun, and it rewards you with even more fun things to do and crash into. It's just one of those games you HAVE to buy. NOW!
Resident Evil 4 is still the best game of the year though, and there's nothing on the horizon that has a chance of surpassing it until, well until next year when Nintendo get the new Zelda out. Will that be Nintendo's last hurrah, or is the Revolution really gonna kick ass? Only time will tell...
Better, Although The Universe Still Ends In Silence
Well, I've actually forced myself to keep going, and I have to say I'm generating some actual enthusiasm for the day, which is nice.
Okay, daddy long legs (or more accurately, the crane fly). There was one in my living room, bumbling about, when I got out of my bath yesterday. How it got in I can't imagine, nor why once it had got in it stayed hidden for such a long period (it must've been inside in excess of 36 hours) before making its appearance. I fucking hate crane flys. I always think they look like flying spiders, all long dangly legs and just general yugginess. Except of course, they're like spiders with all the malevolance taken out and replaced with utter stupidity. I mean, they wobble through the air, seemingly barely able to keep airborne, and with all the precision and stability of dandelion seeds blowing in a particularly giddy wind, and yet somehow this very unpredictability makes them more scary, even though you KNOW that should they actually manage to get anywhere near where they're going it is nothing but pure coincidence. This randomness also makes them shockingly hard to catch and kill. Its not guile on their part, they're not super swift bugs bent on survival, they are just pure idiocy, keeping moving in the vain hope that they might end up somewhere worth being. Still, randomness, by its very nature, is impossible to predict, so their destruction relies on the moments where they alight to take breath before throwing themselves haphazardly into the air once more.
Long story short, I killed the fucker, and good riddance to it.
The Hunted Child
I hardly slept at all last night, weird dreams haunted by weirder imagery and today I just feel... flat, uninvolved, disinterested. Which can't be good, can it?
I've been thinking about the whole monastery thing some more, and while it seems tempting, there's a part of me that also thinks its just giving up on life. Waving the white flag, admitting I can't do this, and running away to a place where none of it matters. It's weird, cos when I think about being cloistered like that, I think about all the things I want to see and do in the outside world, and then I realise that I'm not actually doing anything to achieve these goals anyway...
Blah.
And I found out the most depressing thing ever: a recent survey of the microwave background has revealed that the universe is going to expand forever. I'd always liked the idea that it would collapse down to a single point, and then start over again (implying that it had done this infinitely many times before, and would keep doing so indefinitely), but apparently its just going to expand forever, heading towards its eventual cold entropic lonely death. This of course raises a lot of weird questions about what happened BEFORE the universe came about, and how anything could come about when there is no space time for it to come about in, and then it asks questions about the uniqueness of the universe... but bugger all that, I always found comfort in the idea that it was all going to collapse down and start again, whereas this whole entropic death I find really disturbing. Which is odd, because I'll obviously be dead within the next fifty years and what happens after that won't really matter to me. Human beings eh?
I told you this week was gonna be tough didn't I?
Trinity, Help!
Who is my Trinity? Who is the woman who will fight alongside me, who is worth dying for? Worth sacrificing everything you know for? Do such women even exist in the Real World?
I'd always thought that Marion Ravenwood (Raiders of the Lost Ark? Pay attention at the back) was the ideal movie girlfriend, and to be honest I still do (she edges out Trinity for me, probably just because of my age when I first 'met' her, even though Trinity is much more of a warrior, far more prepared to kill or be killed for her man), and I wonder how much she colours my idea of what a girlfriend/partner should be (to this day that whole skinny, big eyed brunette thing is absolutely ideal for me, and I wouldn't touch a blonde with yours, as the saying goes). I also wonder if this makes any difference at all, or is it just the kind of pointless naval gazing we're to expect over the course of the next week or so?
Tomorrow I promise to go outside, even if only for a little bit. I think being inside all the time is taking its toll, don't you?
The Traditional Time Of Reflection
Yep, here we are in the final week before my birthday. And we all know what that means, don't we? It means depressing reflections on how I'm wasting my life, before resolving not to waste it anymore and then a bit later on... wasting it some more. Yay for being stuck in a rut!
Duck is trying to get me to go on a retreat to a Buddhist monastery, and I have to admit it is sounding like a good idea. I'm a poor quality Buddhist at the best of times, and I reckon it might help give me some greater purpose or enthusiasm for life. Well, actually that's what she thinks, but I'm inclined to agree. I know I need something.
Do you know I haven't seen another human being to talk to since... I dunno, it was that Saturday a couple of weeks back when I hung out with Andrea. I'm getting isolated and weird, I know I am, and that's never a good thing. Still, what're you gonna do eh?
Mainly this weekend I've been playing games (Total Overdose and Burnout Revenge) and watching the extra's on the Matrix Trilogy DVDs. I bought the trilogy boxset last year when I still had money, and I hadn't really thought much of it since, but the other day I realised that I hadn't watched any of the extras and its a ten disc set, so we know there are a few of those... and I have to say "wow". I can't get over the HUGE amount of effort everybody put into making those movies. Now, I'm not here to bash them, I think they've had a lot of that, and overall I think they were pretty largely maligned for simply not fitting into the standard pattern of Hollywood blockbusters (I mean, the 'hero' doesn't destroy his enemies at all, he talks to them reaches a compromise and sacrifices his own life, the war doesn't end with outright victory, it ends with an uneasy peace... its so not Hollywood, is it?), and I like them as a whole. But what astounds me is the massive amounts of work that everybody put in, especially the effects guys, into making the film look as authentic as possible. I mean, by way of example, there's one part where they're doing the effects for the siege of Zion, and they're doing the live action shooting for Captain Mifune right? And they have this rig that is the 'cab' of the APU, and its on a motion control rig which is controlled by computer and mimics the animated moves precisely. There are rams in the back which mimic the guns firing and vibrate the rig exactly when they should, and a bank of lights surround the rig and flash on and off (also controlled by computer) to mimic the firing of the vehicles weapons in the prepared animations... And its all such a huge effort to be authentic and maintain an unbreakable fidelity, but as John Gaeta said, there must be an easier way, probably just going over there and shaking the damn thing. Like anyone would have noticed. I shouldn't say that of course, the work they've done there is mind-blowing and has yet to be surpassed, and to be honest won't be for a very long time, I can't see who'd have the time or money to dedicate to such an enterprise. Also, as an effects geek myself, I really love seeing both the finished sequences themselves, and how they were done.
See, I told you I'm getting weird, I'm totally wrapped up in the unreal at the moment... man I need to get out more. Scratch that, I need to get out AT ALL.
Help me, I'm melting...
Reports Of My Borkage Are Premature
So remember a while back I said that Burnout Revenge was probably borked by the new gameplay twists? Seems I was a little bit hasty there. It certainly takes some getting used to the whole traffic checking thing, but on the plus side it does serve to make things a little safer at the hyper speeds the game moves at. The new courses are a wonder to behold, complex and mutli-tiered, with twisting alternate routes that can be punishingly tricky but immensely rewarding when navigated correctly. The AI seems less irritating so far, I've not seen the AI go whizzing off to some uncatchable lead like it did in Takedown, and whilst the rubberband AI doesn't exactly reward skillful driving as completely as it should, I also see why its there in this particular game and it has made races so far exciting. I think you should also be clear that Burnout hasn't really been a racing game since Point of Impact, its now some peculiar action game that just happens to look like its happening in cars. Speaking of cars, they look absolutely amazing, like the kinda awesome concept cars you see that never get made, and are a great deal more visually exciting than a lot of the officially licensed cars you may see in other games. Also, a lot of the redundancy of multiple cars which are functionally the same has gone and the car selection looks a lot more like Point of Impacts - just the designs are way more refined and exciting and there seem to be tons of them. Crash mode seems vastly improved over last time, although still lacking the perfect simplicity of BO2. The lauch meter is an interesting idea, but also oddly pointless: if you mess up the launch there hardly seems to be any point continuing as your car simply won't go fast enough, so you just restart. Similarly I'm not wildly keen on having to hammer the B button to maximise the crash-breaker, but it works, it keeps you involved in ways you weren't before when you'd just crash and then see how things unfold. That said, I am finding the crash mode an actual challenge this time, rather than just an annoying series of puzzles to be solved, and it pleasingly seems to involve a little creative thought and a touch of good luck. Its certainly addictive, I spent over an hour trying to get gold on just one crash junction early in the game, and was immensely pleased with myself when I did, so overall I'd say its working, and working well. Graphically, the whole game is absolutely stunning, with every bit of design as impressive as the cars themselves, the texturing and effects are truly impressive. Sonically I find it less of a complete triumph, whilst the engines, traffic and explosion effects are great, I controversially like the music less this time round (too many dodgy remixes if you ask me), and I want DJ Stryker back dammit! And yes, I realise I was the only one who liked him. Overall its such an impressive showcase for this generation of consoles I have to wonder why it is the Microsoft are rushing us into the next generation in a few short weeks (well, I know why they're doing it, I just don't think its a good plan and I don't think it'll work).
I haven't got my glasses on right now, and I've cut and pasted so many parts of this trying to re-arrange my thoughts that it probably makes no sense at all now, but as I can't really read it (at least until I can be bothered to get my glasses) you'll just have to put up with any errors there may be. I've got to go and play Bournout some more!
Andele andele! Ariba!
Life Styles Of The Rich & Infamous
I have this great idea for a business. Not just a small business either, although it'd definitely start that way, but it has potential to blow up and spread... An idea, a concept so great, so simple I'm not even gonna write down what it is (at least not publicly), cos I don't think anybody else has ever done this before and I don't want it to end up with anybody else before I have a chance to give it a go. Not that I imagine that'd be any time soon, but still, its MY idea and I'm keeping it!
As usual I've thought of many things to write about over the course of the day, and now I'm sitting here my mind's a complete blank.
I'm tired. I'm trying to get my body clock back in something vaguely resembling the right place (so no more staying up till 4am and sleeping till noon), but its surprisingly hard, cos I'm just not sleeping at night. I was so zonked I even went and had a nap this afternoon, and I hate doing that. Don't ask me why I hate naps so much, I just do - it always seems like a waste of day, even though struggling to be awake is scarcely any more productive...
And, erm, yeah.
Just chat amongst yourselves for a bit eh?
One Banana Two Banana Three Banana Four
Y'know, every once in a while I hate being right. Answer B did indeed have far greater propaganda value in Basra, look even the police are protesting against British troops involvement in the area now. Maybe the story the British government is telling is true, maybe it isn't, that is almost irrelevant. The men who went on this mission surely understood the risks involved, and as soldiers its kinda their job to die for the political ends of politicians (which I realise is a harsh way of looking at it, but then show me another way to look at it that's more accurate)... although, suddenly smelling a conspiracy maybe this IS for the end of politicians. Think for a second: the British press is all over the 'rescue' of these great British 'heroes' (a term I think is bandied about far too easily these days, what exactly about doing their job, and rather badly, qualifies these men to be heroes I wonder?), its been all that the media have talked about for the past few days, popular public opinion has been to get the troops out for some time and now the Iraqis are saying that they want us out... As if by magic an exit strategy appeared. Or am I being too cynical?
In other news: Kate Moss (allegedly) takes cocaine. Big deal. However for some reason this is being a massive story, brands are dropping her left right and centre (including Burberry. I mean what the fuck? Is that because their target market can't actually afford it and just prefer to get wasted on cheap cider?) and the Metropolitan police are apparently investigating. Well, as a survey last week revealed that about 49,000 Londoners use coke on a regular basis I hope they'll all get the same vigorous policing attention, and that this isn't some bizarre media led witch hunt. What? Oh it is? Sorry, that should've read "they obviously won't get the same attention as this is clearly a media led witch hunt". Surely the Met have more important things to do then harass some poor girl whose life is falling apart?
Bonus points to anybody who spots the Mister Benn reference.
Pointless Post
Still bored, and I can't quite summon the enthusiasm to do anything very much.
Blah.
On the plus side, my little bro is coming to visit me for my birthday weekend, so that should be fun. Sounds like he needs a break.
Fatman and Robbin'
Okay the whole Basra thing is looking a little clearer. It is widely accepted (whether its true or not is another matter) that the Iraqi police service has been "infiltrated" by insurgents, and so it was deemed appropriate to rescue the two British soldiers who'd managed to get themselves caught after a firefight with the locals. Still you have to wonder. Being captured was a clear and obvious danger in taking this mission, so the question becomes, what's worth more as propaganda? Two dead British soldiers, or the army steaming in and taking out the cops. From where I'm sitting, answer B seems to have far more propaganda value for the insurgents, and guess what, we obligingly went and gave them exactly what they want. Good work.
Hmmm so it's a lovely lookin day here, and I expect its crisp without being cold, basically all the good things about September weather - but I can't think of a single reason to go outside. I mean seriously, what would I do out there other than spend money? I'm trying to lay off that for a while (well, till about a week Friday, when it's my birthday), and I'm sure even I can manage not to spend a significant amount of cash for nine days. Although I'm prepared to be surprised.
Bah. What the hell am I gonna do with the day? It's comin' to something when havin' a full, beautiful day ahead of you is a problem isn't it? Good god I need a new job, I'm so bored!
Abuses of Power
I take it you've all heard about the British Army flattening an Iraqi jail to rescue a couple of SAS soldiers who'd been arrested after a shoot out with local police? Wow, what the hell was that? I mean, okay the full story isn't out yet, and probably never will be, but the spin my government are putting on it is truly frightful to behold; apparently the Iraqi police were "about to hand the soldier s over to local militia". Of course, given the total lack of respect they have for their own people, I hardly find it surprising that they're prepared to demonise the Iraqi police & people like that, but still... It's scary how quickly we fall back into our colonial ways isn't it? We've got the bigger guns and therefore we are right at all times... What I really want to know is what the hell were a couple of SAS guys doing in disguise anyway, let alone firing on the legitimate local police service? Sending a tank in to flatten the jail (and thereby releasing about 150 criminals) is just compounding one error with another, bigger and more stupid error.It's exactly this sort of flagrant abuse of power that makes people want to blow us up, and I wonder if it's now possible to charge whoever is responsible for this debacle under our new "promotion of terrorism" law, cos they've certainly stirred up some hate there... Hell, I'd bomb us, and I live here.
In a much lesser but more personal abuse of power, the local council have decided they want to see my bank statements for the past six months, just to make sure I don't have an income and aren't trying to defraud the system. Frankly, that just makes me angry, to be treated like a criminal purely because I'm asking for help. Hell, I know there are people who abuse the system, and to be honest I know some of them, but dammit with a system this bureaucratic, impersonal, unresponsive and just plain irritating, I don't blame them, I think we should all take the bastards for every penny we can get. I've become very anti-authoritarian in the past couple of weeks for some reason, probably because the people in authority have a track record of making spectaculalry stupid decisions for no readily apparent reason.
We're going to the moon! And by 'we' I mean somebody else, and by going to the moon I really do mean going to the moon, just not any time soon... apparently NASA are aiming to have someone on the moon by 2018 which seems like an awfully long time away. I mean, yeah, okay we all like to prepare for a long trip, but blimey, it didn't take that long to get there in the 60s and the technology is just a little better now...
FPS - Forget Pre-rendered Stuff
I think that was what put me over the top right there, the sheer cheekiness of the MGS4 video at TGS. It still looks pre-rendered mind, but then later on they had a floor show where they proved that it wasn't by going into the debug kit and messing about with camera angles and light sources and stuff... it's a seriously mind-fucking level of graphical detail. Frankly I've no idea what the launch line-up for the PS3 is, and to a large extent I don't even care, what I HAVE seen is enough to show me which of the next-gen consoles I like the look of. Although I don't like that 'banana' take on the dua-shock at all...
If the Tokyo Game Show has done anything for me its clarified how staggeringly uninterested I am in the Xbox360, and that's coming from one of the Xbox's most vocal converts (I despised the thing when it was launched, it was too big, the games line up was shite and the idea of Microsoft having anything to do with the console business was anathema to me), and how similarly I seem to have lost touch with Nintendo's aspirations (or maybe they've lost touch with mine, who knows?). All I know is right now, if I have a future in gaming, it appears to lie with Sony, which is something I never thought I'd say, but there it is.
Being unemployed is boring. I mean seriously, its boring me to death. If for no other reason than my own sanity, I clearly need another job. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do with all this free time? I've been for a run, done laundry, cleaned the kitchen, looked for jobs, made a few applications, played video games and watched extras on the Indiana Jones trilogy boxset... and there's still been plenty of time for idling about, wasting time and generally feeling bored in there too. I need something to do, and I need it NOW!
Dilemma
There's a spider in here, and it's quite a big one. Now we all know that I am terrified/repulsed by spiders, and as it was in a place that was inaccesible to my killing skills, I reached for the bug spray and gassed it. That made it wobbly, and then made it drop and run (in a wonky sorta way). Now I don't know where it is, nor if it is alive or dead. Now a large part of me thinks that if I can't see it then it doesn't really matter, but the more realistic/terrified part of me thinks that the spider will rest up somewhere for a couple of hours until the gassing has worn off, and then it will come looking for revenge.
So, we come to the dilemma. Do I:
Lemma 1: Hunt for this beast and destroy it, then retire to bed safe in the knowledge that it is no more.
or
Lemma 2: Do I go to bed anyway, be slightly paranoid and have weird dreams, then be worried its gonna be me all day tomorrow.
I have to say that give the late hour and my desire to have something resembling an early nigth (at least by current standards), then proposition 2 looks the more promising. But I'll just give it another few minutes in case it comes crawling out of hiding...
Big Companies Think We're Stupid
Having read more about Nintendo's announcements at the TGS I'm still not even a little bit convinced. I don't care if there are adaptors that make it appear more like a normal controller, I'm just not sold. Watch the presentation video and tell me you wouldn't feel silly playing a game like that. I mean okay, its not like playing in your underwear is the most dignified thing ever, but there's something about this whole revolutionary controller that's just not sitting right with me at all.
Not that Microsoft or Sony are doing much better, they're still desperately trying to impress us with... pre-rendered footage and intro sequences. Yeah, thanks, that's really worked, that's impressed me with the level of graphical detail your consoles are capable of and yes, I truly did come down with the last rain shower. There still isn't anything about the next generation that is even remotely appealing to me, but as ever, the proof is gonna be in the games and I expect they'll turn up sooner or later.
Idiots
Oddly I've been becoming more and more attracted to the PStwo, entirely for the exclusive titles (I'm thinking things like Katamari Damacy, Devil May Cry, God of War), the myriad RPGs and of course the access to the old PSone library (I still miss Final Fantasy VII & Wipeout!). Also it'd be handy to have a DVD player for the bedroom. Its also much cheaper than buying a PSP, and satisfies all the same urges. And still leaves me with the cash to buy an mp3 player!
Today has been a total and utter mess, I slept far too late, had odd dreams about shooting zombies with a high-powered sniper-rifle, and I've just felt peculiar all day. And now I'm going to have a nice relaxing bath and hope that makes things better.
You Say You Want A Revolution?
This morning the web (or at least the parts of it I frequent) is full of the news that Nintendo has finally unveiled the controller for its forthcoming Revolution console. I encourage you to go hunt these things out, and make up your own mind, but this is what I think: Huh?
What follows is going to be incoherent and poorly thought out (no change there then), cos it is literally the things that are flooding through my mind right this minute.
Don't get me wrong, there's very little in the PS3 or Xbox360 that's getting me excited, they look like being exactly the same games systems we've got now, but with improved graphics and yet more online capabilities that I'm not interested in. As a fairly hardcore Nintendo fanboy (with 'em since the NES days) I was looking forward to seeing what they had in store for us with the next generation, and all along they were saying what I wanted to hear: other companies concentrating too much on graphics, no innovation in gameplay... it all sounded good. And they warned us that something crazy was coming, over and over again. But this? It's... it's a tv remote control isn't it? I mean, its a clever one, with motion tracking and tilt sensing and all that, and it's expandable with extra bits you can plug in, and parts of the promotional video look interesting... but I for one feel disenfranchised by this new approach. I know its very stuck in my ways of me, but there you go. I mean, obviously until we see some actual games and get to play with the controller ourselves I won't really know what I think and feel about it, but one things is abundantly clear from this: Nintendo don't want third party support for the new system. I mean look at the DS, for all its wonderful new ways of interacting, only Nintendo do anything new or interesting with it, everybody else just shovels on the game they've designed for all the other consoles and puts a map or something on the second screen. And this is gonna be just the same, except maybe the big guns won't even bother this time. I know this is an incredibly negative opinion of the Big N, but rather than being inclusive I think they've been incredibly divisive. People who don't pick up and play games now aren't staying away cos they can't handle the controller, they're not playing cos they don't WANT to, and designing a controller that looks like a TV remote isn't going to make them want to play games, because they're just not gamers. And the gamers who did want to play, well it looks like Nintendo aren't interested in us anymore. Then think about what has happened with the last two generations of Nintendo hardware... once bitten twice shy eh? Well now we're twice bitten, and with hardware this eccentric it looks like we're gonna be losing another chunk of flesh... I mean I love my 'cube, don't get me wrong, but the last time a decent game (or any games that I can think of) came out on it was Resi 4 which was like six months ago (admittedly it was the greatest video game of this generation so far, but that's hardly the point) and the next time we see anything is gonna be sometime next year when the new Zelda game comes out. What do we have in the meantime? More fucking Mario Party, and more bloody Mario themed sports games. Who are those aimed at? Why, the casuals, that's who, I know I could care less. I don't know, I really don't. I mean its BECAUSE of the innovation that we love Nintendo, and I have almost always thought they were right in the past, hell they probably are this time and it'll become obvious once you get the controller in your hand, but all I know is that right now, this is one Revolution I don't want to be a part of.
Guns Blazing, Drums Of Death
A prize to anyone who can work out why I chose that as the title for today's entry (prize is notional and consists of little more than geek kudos, has zero value for tax purposes, local laws apply).
SO, yesterday, the fuel protests, that was what I wanted to talk about. Okay, so, for some background: petrol prices in the UK have just reached insane highs, just over a pound a litre for unleaded (which is a smidge over $12 a gallon for American readers, and even more for Canadian ones). Gordon Brown, our esteemed chancellor in a foolish little bit of PR has called on the OPEC countries to produce more oil to reduce this price, while everybody with any sense has pointed out that Her Majestys treasury actually takes 70% of what we pay at the pumps and that if he really wanted to make fuel more affordable he could just be less of a robbing bastard. Anyway, so yesterday was supposed to be Fuel Protest day. Now last time this happened, five years ago, it'd been a pretty big deal, roads were blocked, fuel supplies were cut off (at least temporarily) and people expected more of the same. Monday and Tuesday saw some frantic panic buying by the panicky masses, and then Wednesday came and... the protest at the UK's main refinery/terminal amounted to two people who got there early, then went home again when nobody else turned up. There are times I think that as a people, the British are so bloody apathetic we deserve whatever hideous torments our government to come up with for us.
Sadly now that I've remembered what I wanted to talk about yesterday I've forgotten what todays topic was going to be, although I'd guess it was probably going to be some sort of sarcastic remarks about something that's happened in the news, or maybe a discussion of the various merits of either a movie or game. Or all of the above. It's even possible it was going to be some sort of document of my sexual adventures, although as I don't have any of those that would look a lot like this:
Except it would go on and on for years, with no end in sight...
Non Zero Sum
Dude I totally had a thought (or two) I wanted to share/inflict upon you, but luckily for you I've forgotten what it was.
So I'm here, just kinda staring at the keyboard, wondering what it was I was going to write.
...
..
.
Nope, not a clue.
Just talk amongst yourselves for a while, I'll be back later.
Wasps = Evil
Wasps are usually like chavs: they're lagered up, they've got their mates with 'em, they're looking for a fight and they don't care who or what with. This makes the one I found in my bathroom doubly unusual. Firstly because I'd cleaned the bathroom floor to ceiling yesterday afternoon, so if there were any wasps in there I woulda noticed, and secondly because it was sitting quietly on the toothpaste trying to get some sleep. Needless to say, it was soon ejected from the building.
I did indeed do laundry, and then settled down to watch the first half of Lawrence of Arabia. I realise its a movie that's over forty years old, but I've never seen it before, so this is being a cool experience. It's also an incredibly long experience, and whilst it doesn't feel long, by the time I got to the intermission the afternoon was gone, so I'll watch the rest of it tomorrow. Or sometime. Very cool movie though.
Cursed!
Yeah, see I DID curse the Eagles - they lost their opening game last night/this morning, and it's MY fault! What I should really do is support the Pats to trick the universe into making them shite, but my heart wouldn't really be in it and I'm sure that Fate isn't that easily faked out. Ah well, in a few weeks hockey season starts, and then I can curse another team, in fact I can curse a whole new sport! Yay me!
The only question that remains is do I curse Ottawa or Toronto? Ash says "Toronto!", but I don't think she really understands what my support can mean to a team...
So, I've applied for jobs this morning, written up my job diary (which isn't strictly a historically accurate document...) and now I wonder what I'll do for the rest of the day. I have a feeling some laundry could be on the cards, although that's not exactly a commitment to fill an entire day with. So I imagine there'll be some game playing shortly...
HULK SMASH!
The Strongest One There Is!
Turns out that I'm not managing to be here as regularly as I'd hoped, but I will try harder, I promise!
Okay, reading back I feel I was a little harsh on the survivors in New Orleans. I understand that these people are the poor and disenfrenchised, but still I don't quite see what exactly they thought they were waiting for. Also, the total breakdown of law and order is still utterly beyond me. I can understand getting food and whatever supplies you need, and I don't think anybody would have a problem with that, but the out-right robbery, the violence, the rapes? What the fuck was that all about? There really isn't any reasonable or possible justification I can imagine for that sorta behaviour, it just seems that maybe some people who coulda used a good drowning maybe didn't get one... Also, as far as Bush's response to the crisis, well what did you expect? It's basically the same thing he did on 9/11 ie nothing. Its almost like he doesn't like the whole 'running the country' business, and just kinda stays out of it in the hopes that somebody else will take over and do it for him... I also find it utterly bizarre that it's possible to evacuate New Orleans (at gunpoint, no less) NOW, but somehow wasn't before hand? Sorry mate, but that horse is long gone...
Hmm, I'm happier now, my girl is back in school and I've spent more time with her in the past three days than I have in the past three months. Its disturbing how much difference that makes to my mood really. Also in terms of happy mood modifiers, my house is looking super clean, which always makes it seem nicer, and football season is upon us once more! Sadly this is already looking like more of a negative mood modifier than a positive as the Vikes lost their opening game, and quite spectacularly at that. I wish you could somehow chose who you support, but sadly its like who you fall in love with: no matter how bad it is for you, you just can't change it. On the plus side, losing on opening day means that, historically speaking, the Vikes cannot possibly win the Superbowl now, so its nice to have that pressure off. Maybe I can just relax and enjoy the season, and try to quietly switch my allegiance to the Eagles (who've always been my second favourite, although I suspect that my support itself acts as a jinx of some kind...).
Finally, although I know I shouldn't have done so (sorry Tiger), I bought Hulk:Ultimate Destruction on Friday, and all I can say is "Wow!". Okay, there's a certain element of it being the ONLY decent game that's been released for about three months, so it probably seems a bit better than it is after the summer drought, but dammit it is good! It totally takes a leaf out of Spiderman 2's book, giving you a free-roaming city to explore, story and side missions to perform, and upgradeable character abilities to play with, except it does it all better. The story missions are fun, some of the side missions are genius (my favourite is Batter Up, which basically gives Hulk a club, vantage atop a sky-scraper, and a ton of soldiers to hit as far as he can), and the Hulk himself is just a powerhouse of destruction! Also its powerfully addictive, with a quick "I'll just go smash the city up for a few minutes" quickly turning into five hours play. Ahhh, the winter gaming season is upon us, and there are many and varied delights to come. Why just this month we have the quite amazing looking Fahrenhiet (or Indigo Prophecy to those of you over the pond, whose version suffers not just a bizarre name change, but also the total removal of all sexual content. So its okay for your character to murder people in cold blood, but God forbid he should engage in consensual sex with his girl-friend...), the possibly borked (why is it okay to hit traffic now?) but still potentially brilliant Burnout Revenge, Far Cry: Instincts, and what might be the sleeper of the bunch, Total Overdose. And that's just in the two weeks before my birthday!
Happy times!
*Shakes Head In Disbelief*
The weird thing about the whole destruction of New Orleans is the huge number of people who seem to be just sitting about waiting for somebody else to help them. I mean, fair do's, the government should be doing something, hell anything at all would be an improvement, but the people themselves just seem... stupid, or maybe stupified. For example, they're just leaving the dead right where they fall, like they have no concept of sanitation or even human dignity. There are women with new born babies complaining that they have no baby formula, perhaps misunderstanding what their breasts are actually FOR. And there are people just sitting, like they're waiting for somebody to do something. I'm staggered by the scale of the destruction of course, and whilst there are questions there about why people weren't evacuated, why the maintenance budget on New Orleans' flood defences was reduced over the past few years, and why President Bush didn't seem to care enough to actually cut his holiday short and do something, those are questions for later. Right now, almost a week after the hurricane hit, I think its about time a relief operation was organised. Then there are the utterly inexplicable armed gangs who seem to be prowling around shooting and looting, in fact they seem to actually be hindering the aid effort by hijacking supplies and firing on evac choppers. I mean what the hell is wrong with these people? It was one of the reasons I really hated Spielberg's War of the Worlds movie, the way crowd reacted, turning on each other like that, its just not how people react in a crisis. Apparently however, its just not how Europeans react in a crisis, cos Americans are doing exactly those things, right now.
Land of the free, home of the brave right? Don't make me laugh...
Stupidity Leak
So, the PSP came out in Europe yesterday. Not terribly interesting right? Except for some almost inexplicable reason I want one! Go on, ask me why I want one, ask me. Nope, I couldn't tell you. I don't travel much, and when I do I'm driving, so its not like I'd be using it then (to avoid crashing see?). The whole movies on the move thing is actually pretty cool, but then having to buy movies AGAIN on UMD is actually pretty annoying, so that wouldn't be it either. Y'know what slim justification I'm clinging to? I want an mp3 player, and the PSP can do that. Never mind that the cost of a decent sized memory stick alone (say a 1GB deal) is about the same price as a budget(ish) flash-memory mp3 player, or that I want the mp3 player for music when I'm running and the idea of running with so precious (and notoriously delicate) a piece of hardware as a PSP on my person fills me with fear, for some reason this justification is kinda working for me. And then of course, it can do the game playing and movie playing thing too, so suddenly its extra functions are cool add-ons... I fear its only a matter of time before I buy one, then sit here in this very chair playing WipEout or Lumines...
See, my brain knows that buying one is really stupid and pointless, but for some reason my brain isn't really in control at the moment, which is a shame 'cos it usually rules my life with a fist of iron and stops me doing all sorts of things I might enjoy. Maybe I should just sate my desire to spend money by spending a little more than I should, but nowhere near the insane amount required to get a PSP. That might work.
The whole New Orleans situation is really quite stunning. I mean, this is the richest nation on the Earth, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be able to get off its arse and organise any sort of rescue effort, at least on a governmental level. Adding insult to injury Bush gives press conferences where he just looks like a smug prick, smiling and being smary and saying all the wrong things and I end up wanting to punch him (although I usually do want to punch him, to be fair), so I can't imagine how the good folk of Louisianna feel. I can't help but wonder how different the response might have been if this had happened in a state with a little money, rather than to the poorest people in America, but I imagine that serious flooding of New York would have been taken a little more seriously...
