Rollercoaster Of Dizzy!
If I thought the last few days had been bad, I had no idea what was in store for me today. Literally everything has been difficult, even lying down with my eyes closed has afforded me no respite, 'cos I have just felt like crap!
I tried to sleep in this morning (which I don't like to do, I like to get up when or before Ronnie does, so it doesn't seem like I lie in bed all day when she's out earning a crust), but Archie would have none of it; as soon as Ronnie had gone he was crying and wailing and he seemed to want absolutely nothing. It didn't take long for me to give up, stagger downstairs and get a cuppa and admit that I was awake whether I liked it or not. Archie vanished up stairs, and promptly went to sleep on the bed!
I spent most of the day sitting or lying on the sofa, with my eyes closed listening to the TV, or snoozing, or trying to read a magazine (the words were all blury and moved about a lot though!), with my head swimming and an astonishing feeling of being on a rollercoaster when I was sitting perfectly still! When I got up to make some lunch (I had toast!) Archie came downstairs and stole my place on the sofa!
This evening we went into town for karaoke night, so I could get out and about a bit, and see some people. I was feeling like crap, but I wanted to at least make the effort, so I got myself pretty (pretty wobbly!) and sorted my hair out, and away we went. It was a bit of a magical mystery tour as lots of the roads into town were closed, but we got there in the end! Unfortunately, as it transpired nobody was out anyway, so we took a little walk through the town and looked at the Christmas lights (I liked the blue strings on all the trees!), before coming home and me writing this. This is proving pretty unpleasant too, but I don't have my glasses on so I can't really see the screen anyway, which I think is actually going some way to lessen the effects!
Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day.
Wrongly Wired
The past couple of days have been very hard work, I've been feeling dizzier and sicker and more generally worn out than I have done in a long time. Which is obviously not good, but it did get me thinking that the upside of all this is that when I'm well again I will have so many things I want to do that I'll never get bored again! Even the simple act of getting up in the morning will be all the sweeter when there's little to no possibility of me immediately falling over again!
But it is hard, and boring. And the boring puts extra strain on Ronnie, 'cos she's working three jobs, doing extra at Lyndseys, trying to keep us all afloat and organize Christmas presents... and when she comes home I'm so pleased to see somebody that I won't give her five minutes peace. So I'm gonna try and be a bit better at that, and give her the space she needs. I think this is harder for her than it is for me, 'cos she's the one who has to keep going, keep struggling, whereas for me the world seems to have pretty much stopped. I mean, I know time has passed (last time I felt well it was still the summer!), but it places no demands on me at all, I just keep plodding along...
Last night we went baby-sitting at Lyndseys house. That was pretty fun, although I felt tired and dizzy most of the time, it was fun to meet some new people, especially Alfie who has roughly a million questions (for example "how do you build a house?", "how do you get the pictures off the DVD onto the telly?") most of which seem fairly perceptive (although a few made no sense to my adult mind), and he's only four! Plus Ronnie has been working for this family for as long as I've known her, so it was nice to finally put some faces to the names!
I came across an odd sort of political story today. Apparently the Tory party have been attacking Gordon Brown's character (rather than policies, after all the Tories don't have any policies of their own yet) and suitability to be the next leader of Labour and hence PM of our green and pleasant land. Their most bizarre attack however, was to criticize him for always writing in red felt-tip, and to have his hand-writing analyzed, before declaring that his large writing and bold colours made him deeply untrustworthy. Unfortunately what they failed to take into account is that he's blind in one eye, and so writes larger than normal and in felt tip so that it is easier for him to see... I do hope that whoever came up with that ridiculous campaign idea is suitably chastened by this. I'd like to think that politicians would learn from this, and stay away from personal attacks, but I'm just an optimist, not completely insane!
Black Christmas
Saturday night Ronnie finished work early, which was nice. She went out clubbing for a while (ie until 4am!), and obviously I couldn't go. That really upset me. I know she wanted me to be able to go too, but we both knew full well that was completely impossible, which I found very upsetting. That sort of festered in my head until I ended at the idea that somehow to have a good time she had to leave me behind. Still, she had a good night, and seems much the happier for it, so that was good.
Yesterday we went to Lincoln for the afternoon. Allegedly we went for some Christmas shopping, but we didn't really get a lot done, just sort of wandered about a bit and then (it being Sunday) all the shops closed and we had to come home again! It was nice to see Lincoln again, it's still my favourite of all the place I've ever lived (in terms of the city, rather than the actual happiness quotient of the living situation, 'cos the living situation of the time was hell on earth!), and I'd love for us to end up living there someday. We also found a cool chocolate shop on the way there, in the middle of this little village with exactly fuck all else in it (well there was an emo kid sitting on a bench, but other than that, nothing). We naturally had to stop and sample their wares, and very good they were too, especially the lemon mousse chocolates!
Today my boss from work came over, to see how I was doing and see if there was anything they could do to make it easier for me to return to work. I suppose there is also an element of checking up on me, although Kay is a manager not a doctor, so that element would be very slim indeed. It was a pretty good visit overall, although until we know what's wrong with me then it's not gonna get treated, and I won't be back at work anytime soon (Kay even said that the end of January was a sort of fingers crossed and hope for the best kinda time). Still it's nice to know that they want to make it as easy as possible for me to get back to work when the time comes. Something I'd also forgotten was that my work offers a free and confidential counselling service, which might be something I want to take advantage of, it's certainly becoming apparent over the past few days that I'm starting to fall apart psychologically what with this illness lingering and the restrictions that it places on my life.
I was thinking earlier that this wasn't how I wanted our first Christmas together to be, when it occured to me that no matter how unlikely, there may actually be something seriously wrong with me and that our first Christmas together may in fact be my last Christmas.
I don't say this to be melodramatic or seek sympathy or whatever, and to be honest I really really doubt it, (I've always maintained the feeling that I would KNOW, through some undisclosed mechanism, if there was actually something wrong with my brain), but I think it might be something I should at least acknowledge in passing, if not actually deal with in any rational way. I will say this: oddly enough it doesn't frighten me as much as I'd always assumed it would, I just feel saddened by everything and everyone I'd be leaving, 'cos I was finally starting to like it here!
Oh look at the time, it's well past time for Archie's dinner! I better get going before my lord and master get's grumpy!
Yoda Is Missing!
Not too sure those shelves are gonna stay up ya know. One of them, the one that I put the heaviest stuff on, was leaning at a most perilous angle when we got up this morning, so I've put another couple of brackets underneath it in the hope that they will spread the load a little.
On the plus side I finally got to reassemble and display all my Star Wars LEGO! It was pretty hard work too, I couldn't figure out how to put things together without looking up pics on the net, and somehow during the move I managed to lose one of the clone pilots from the ARC Fighter. But still, it's pretty cool. At some point while I was playing with my LEGO, Yoda went missing. This isn't one of those modern re-moulds or anythings, it's an original 1980 Yoda, complete with snake, gimmer stick and most importantly, his little cloth robe. Right now on eBay these are selling from anywhere between £10 and £60 depending on condition, but I'm not really concerned about how much it could be worth, it was always one of my favourite figures so I'd kept it. And now it'd gone missing! I'd got it out of the box not five minutes earlier, so where could it be? I asked Archie if he'd seen Yoda, but he didn't answer because he's a cat. But I did notice that he had something in his mouth... something which he dropped and started to play with, batting it about all over the living room... Yoda! Needless to say, Archie was quickly relieved of his new toy, and Yoda was inspected, found to be none the worse for wear from his adventure, and placed on a high shelf well away from little kitty cat eyes, and paws and teeth!
Those shelves are still tilting at a perilous angle, but I guess all we can do is hope that the cardboard walls hold up and nothing comes crashing down!
The Point
I've probably discussed this before too, but having just listend to Nilsson's wonderful The Point twice in a row (and I'm just starting on a third listening), I wonder (as I have since I was a wee bairn), what the point of the story is. Now maybe it's just that things don't have to have a point, that you should be happy to be yourself, that conformity is hollow and we should rejoice in the differences, that Nilsson was on acid when he wrote it (true) and it's just a home to some cool songs (very true)... I don't know. All I know is that when I was a kid and you got to the end when all the points melt and Oblio suddenly
has one, well he's at back at square one again isn't he? He's
still the odd one out, although I suppose the fact that everybody liked him (apart from the Count's son) anyway, whether he was pointed or not, goes some way to making that irrelevant. I always just thought that they hated him for being pointless, and now they're going to be jealous of the fact that he's the only one with a point.... Another thing that's just occured to me is that he says that ALL the points in the town of Point melt when the clock strikes, so does this mean that Arrow no longer has a point? What does any of it mean??? Maybe I should just relax and enjoy the music eh? I have always loved this record, ever since I first heard it as a kid, and I was overjoyed to suddenly come across it again last year. I think it should be part of the education of all children around the world. At the very least it'll be part of the education of my children, if I ever have any. Maybe Harry would've liked that.
I always wanted a dog like Arrow, by the by.
The shelf putting up went very well, I found appropriate screws in my big box 'o' tools, and the shelves are now proudly hanging on the wall waiting to fall down the moment anything is placed upon them. Bloody walls in this house seem to be made of cardboard, so I hope the shelves will stay up...
Well, that's about it. That's the end of the story and it's also the end of the album. So thank you and good night.
Calmed Down
Okay, I've calmed down a bit now. Sometimes everything seems like too much to cope with, but in reality it's just a series of things that need to be dealt with one at a time, and we'll get through it. As ever Ronnie seems to take these things in her stride, although I worry about the cumulative effect of so many things on her. Unfortunately my tasks for the day are complicated by a) being phone calls, which I can find incredibly confusing if they take unexpected turns, and b) also hampered by the fact that none of the people I want to talk to are taking phone calls today! On top of that I've got shelves to put up (I know! Letting me loose with a drill when I can barely stand up!), but I fear that particular mission is going to be hampered by a lack of the right sort of screws...
Oh yeah, and I'm sure I've already had an entry called "Poli-High" (I don't mean yesterdays', I mean in addition to that one) but I'm listening to The Point, so what else am I gonna call it?
Happy Tree Friends
Pay day today.
I don't know what the hell we're gonna do, I got such a trivial amount it's almost a joke! On top of that after two months the tax office are still charging me top-rate (when they shouldn't be charging me anything!) and haven't repaid the several hundred pounds they've claimed in error. I don't know how the hell we're supposed to live on this pitiful insulting amount of money, hell it'll just about cover the three bills I have to pay but won't leave anything to contribute towards water, gas, electricity or the rent, let alone food or even Christmas! I am filled with despair.
It's certainly not how I pictured our first Christmas together would be.
Even now, after all this time, I keep thinking, even expecting, that in a couple of weeks I'll be alright again, I'll be able to work, and the money will start to come back in, but the truth of the matter is that until they find out what's wrong with me, there's very little chance that it'll just be cured through some random freak coincidence!
I hate this: I hate being sick, I hate feeling useless and I hate the burden I'm being to others. I just wish it would all be over.
Poli High!
It's not been a great week so far. Ronnie's been getting hassle at work, and on top of the stress of being the main (well pretty much only) bread-winner in the house it's all just starting to get on top of her. Mind you if I should ever happen upon the person who's giving her a hard time while he's walking to his car on a dark and lonely night, he'll bloody well have something to whine about at work. In truth I didn't really understand what my Mum meant when she said somebody was "wet" until I met Gary, and now I get it. Damned if I could explain it to you anymore than my Mum could explain it to me, but he's the very definition of wetness. Pillock.
In fact it was so bad that Ronnie had to have a day off yesterday to get herself together, and I really enjoyed having her here. And so did Archie! She really was feeling down in the dumps though, so I wobbled out to the corner shop to get some chocolate ('cos everybody likes that when they're sick) and some fresh bread for her french onion soup. Like I said, it was nice to have her here, and to look after her for a change!
Speaking of being looked after, she arranged for me to get signed off work again this morning, although I don't know how long for this time, 'cos I was mainly asleep when she made the phone call. Later on though, I got a letter from the hospital saying that I was "pencilled in" for an MRI scan in the first week of January 2007! So that's ages away, and also "pencilled in" is a bit vague, isn't it? Basically the scans are done by a private company and whilst I've been listed as a high priority patient (which I feel oddly guilty about, like there's nothing wrong with me!), there simply may not be enough scanner time to fit me in, so I'll have to wait and see if the scanning company give me an appointment or not. Ho hum.
Actually I don't seem to be having such a bad day at the moment, which is quite nice; I'm typing relatively quickly and with remarkably few exceptions. This is strange because earlier on this morning I was massively confused by a simple phone call, to the point that I'm fairly certain I left an almost entirely incomprehensible message on the voice-mail of some poor random person who had nothing whatsoever to do with what I was phoning for.
Hello Pot? This Is Kettle...
I just read the most ludicrous thing ever. Well, no not the most ludicrous thing ever, but yet another entry in Sony's long list of stupid things to say and do whilst launching the PS3. Apparently one of their head guys over in Australia said that he thought the Wii was "a little pricey" and that the Xbox360, although more reasonable "still a bit pricey". Apparently in Sony land the £425 for a PS3 is entirely reasonable (in fact one of their minions described it as a bargain, quite unsurprisingly), whereas the £180 for a Wii is altogether too much. In fact after a mere two minutes web searching I've tracked down a deal where I could get a Premium 360 (with Gears of War) AND a Nintendo Wii for the princely sum of £440, just fifteen pounds more than the Sony effort. I wonder which one I'd prefer to spend my money on...
In other bizarre news, a Sony exec stated that they expected to be moving to digital content delivery within the next five years, rendering that oh so expensive and unnecessary blu-ray drive that Sony think is so neat completely redundant half-way through the machines predicted life span.
I love those guys. Just imagine what they'd be like if they actually had a plan...
Oh Boy
Man I feel rough.
Not through the use (and abuse) of alcohol either, who needs that to make you feel dizzy and nauseous when you've got whatever I've got?
The weekend started VERY promisingly (*ahem*), but things started to go a bit pear shaped when we went out. There was a Christmas market on in town, and as it's getting near to the time we thought we'd go and have a look and see if it inspired any ideas for Christmas shopping. Pretty much immediately though my head was swimming like it hasn't in a very long time, and it hasn't stopped since. By late Saturday afternoon I just wanted to fall down and cry (which wouldn't have been ideal, we were grocery shopping in Morrisons). Luckily I didn't have to do a damn thing Saturday night other than sit and vegetate, and I could manage that.
Yesterday I don't really remember all that well, so it can't have been that exciting... Ah yeah, Ronnie was at work, so it was just me and Archie all day. Goodness knows what we got up to, can't have been very exciting.
And now it's Monday morning. I feel dizzy as hell, and I've just wobbled out to the corner shop to pick up a loaf of bread. I took my cane with me for stability purposes, but I really felt self-concious about it, like I had to explain it to everyone. Not that I did, I just felt like people were looking at me... not that I met any people, but you know what I mean!
Today we should hear whether or not Ronnie got the job she went for on Friday. I hope she will, it'll cheer her right up and make her life a lot simpler, and on top of that she'd be brilliant at it! After everything she's had to put up with since I became ill she really deserves a break, so let's hope this is it! From the sound of things she kicked ass in the interview(s!), so they'd be fools not to hire her!
Back From The Hospital
Well, I've been and had my first appointment at the hospital. I had a few tests (which revealed some hearing loss in my left ear, and that I can't balance worth a damn), was given some pills which may counter-act the feeling of dizziness, and I've been booked in for more tests! Don't know when they'll be yet, the consultant said the MRI (yep, an MRI! Apparently they need to rule out the scary things, and I'm all for that) could take a couple of months, but he said "Urgent" on his notes, so that might make it quicker. So it's good news in some ways (nobody called me a fraud!) and meh news in other ways insofar as we still don't have a clue what's really going on. At least we're on the road to finding out!
Ronnie's at a job interview now. I kinda feel like I haven't paid enough attention to that, and I haven't been as helpful in prep as I could've been, and on top of that she had to be in a rush 'cos my hospital appointment was (obviously!) late. Nonetheless I have total confidence in her, 'cos she's smart and brilliant, and very well suited to the job she's applying for! I just hope she has that same confidence in herself, and doesn't feel all flustered when she gets there!
I've been a burden for the past week, what with feeling worse and hospital worry and the like, so I need to stop that and start being useful and fun again (even if I am sick)! Woohoo!
Crazy Horses
Sometimes I just wonder if I'm going crazy and this is all in my head. Actually, and if I must be pedantic (oh I must), whether it be due to some problems with my ear or me somehow conjuring these symptoms out of my own imagination then the cause of my problem is in my head either literally or figuratively.
I've been reading back over the past few days blogs and noticing the huge amount of spelling and grammatical mistakes, not to mention the instances where I've just missed out words altogether. I've thought about editing them, but in the end I figured it was best to keep them as is, as a record of my ability to communicate and concentrate.
Anyway, back to it all being in my head. So I thought I'd walk to the local shop this morning, pick up a few bits and pieces and for the first fifty or so yards I'd forgotten how I feel and was just walking along normally and I start to think "My god, you're making it all up!". That's something I think a couple of times a day usually, wondering if I'm malingering in some way, although what I hope to gain from it I can't recall. Then I remember that I didn't used to feel like this, that not so long ago I was quick witted and generally composed, was able to drive well, play video games, watch movies and just generally navigate life without becoming confused or overwhelmed. It seems amazing to me that I doubt my own symptoms, but they seem so vague I don't know what else to think. Except I remember a time when I wasn't like this. Maybe it's something in my upbringing; I know my Mum was always of the "you'll feel better when you get to school" brigade, and my Dad hardly seems to acknowledge illness at all. Bah. I worry about this though, ridiculous as it seems, I worry that when I get to the hospital they're gonna do their tests and say "Hey, you're fine you big liar!" and that'll be the end of it. Except I KNOW how I feel, and how I feel isn't how I used to feel, how I should feel...
Hmm, what else?
Well... we saw Lilo and Stitch last night, that was good (and it's had me in an Elvis mood all day!). My life just isn't all that thrilling y'know? Generally I potter about, and feel dizzy (and doubt my dizzy feeling!). It's more a question of passing the time than it is of doing anything particularly fun or useful.
Blah!
Headache
My head is thumping and spinning like a right bastard today.
Normally after I've got everybody's breakfast I'll nip back to bed and snooze for half an hour or so, but I didn't today 'cos I wanted to finish cleaning the house before it was inspection time, and I was dizzy pretty much as soon as I woke up. By mid-morning once I'd finished the remaining dusting and hoovering I was fairly convinced I was just gonna have to fall over and let my head split open, but somehow it didn't quite come to that.
It's not been a very exciting day really.
We passed our inspection, so that was good.
Last night I did indeed feel like dinner, and Ronnie sneakily ordered pizza for us, although I got serious abuse from the delivery guy when he got here (apparently he'd called us twice to confirm our address and had been standing there for twenty minutes!) Luckily I was feeling very confused and dizzy, or I suspect he'd have got plenty of abuse back again too. Anyway, the upside was that I did feel like eating and I ate without serious consequences! Yay for pizza!
Going Backwards
Overall I feel like my health has taken a step backwards over the past week. This time last week I was driving and walking about and generally able to cope things much better than I have been, but gradually over the week the nausea returned (to the point that I hardly ate over the weekend, 'cos I just didn't fancy having to throw it all up again later on), and yesterday my dizziness almost reached an all time high.
We went to visit Lisa and Allan yesterday, and terrible wobbliness notwithstanding I'm glad we did. It's always good for Ronnie to see her sis, and there've been a couple of exciting new additions to the household (a little dog named Holly, and an Xbox360) it seemed the ideal to visit. It should be noted that despite finding standing a bit of a tall order I still played with the dog (and the 360!) and even went on the family walk (although that was probably a bad idea, all the leaves on the ground really fucked with my head! I also thought I saw a fox, but I didn't say anything 'cos I see floors moving and tables pulsating all the time, and I didn't want to draw attention to that. Although I've never actually hallucinated a whole animal before!). Still, it was a nice day and I'm glad we went although the downside of it was that now I can honestly say I want an Xbox360. And I wouldn't even object to a dog, to be honest, although I'm sure Archie would.
Today I've spent most of the day trying to clear up a little for inspection day tomorrow, but frankly I don't feel like I've got very far. I had this brilliant idea for rearranging the bedroom furniture which took an awful long time to not work at all, so I had to put everything back again. So in reality while I've spent the day doing stuff, most of the house looks curiously like it did this morning...
I wonder if I'll be up to having any dinner tonight? That'd be nice, and it'd certainly make a change!
Soft On Cats!
A lazy day today. I ended up getting up quite early (for a weekend!) 'cos Archie kept pestering me for his breakfast and I didn't want him bothering Ronnie, although odds are he wouldn't simply because he knows she'll ignore him. I think it's fairly self-evident that I'm soft on cats (in fact last night I slept all squashed up in a corner of the bed 'cos Archie was sprawled across the bottom of my half and I didn't want to disturb him, in fact I was so concerned that I didn't even get under the covers... needless to say I was cold and uncomfortable, and didn't sleep well. Archie had a good nights sleep, and thanked me for it by licking my nose to wake me up so he could get something to eat...), and try as I might I can't stop. Even though I know that they will abuse my good nature, I can't stop being nice to them 'cos I kinda think it's an owners responsibility to keep their pet happy, and to cater to their whims when it is safe to do so. When Archie makes a fuss 'cos he wants to play, I invariably go and play with him for a bit. When he wants to be let out, I'll open the door so he can poke his head out and come straight back inside. And when he wants to sleep on my side of the bed, I usually find a way to sleep that disturbs him as little as possible. Yeah, he's abusing my good nature all right!
Later on we watched the second half of Fellowship of the Ring, did lots of quizzes on various quiz sites, and then nipped into town for a bit. I was sad to note that I still found the outside world as wobbly and confusing as ever, especially now that it's getting dark earlier and there are bright lights everywhere. Still, mustn't worry, I've got my hospital appointment on Friday, so maybe we'll start to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is going on here, 'cos that'd be nice.
Ronnie's off to work again this evening, so I've got to find a way to entertain myself for a few hours. The wobbliness makes me feel so lonely and isolated, not to mention useless. I know she's finding it hard worrying about the finances, and I hate being able to contribute so little, while she works so hard!
What's This?
We watched Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas last night. Not that it is particularly festive at the moment, but we saw Corpse Bride the other day and I commented that I'd seen the start of Nightmare before and never liked it. That's true, I had seen the first half an hour or so a couple of times, all the while enduring the disapproval of She Who Shall Not Be Named, and it warped my perception of the movie so that none of the film I saw last night was recognisable to me. Which is really weird, 'cos I have quite vivid memories of it, but is a quality demonstration of the total and utter fallibility of human memory. And I thought Nightmare was a great film, and I've been squeaking along to "What's This?" all morning.
Ah yes, squeaking. That sore throat I went to bed with last night turned really nasty, and I believe that at some point my throat was replaced with sandpaper during the night. Not fun.
Finally saw the Spiderman 3 trailer this morning and... well I'm in two minds here. One says "Wow!" and the other, slightly grumpier one says "No Venom?". I mean I KNOW the story, I know what's gonna happen after Peter rejects the suit (and he does it in a bell-tower, just like he's supposed to!), and I also appreciate the value of saving that for people who don't know, so not having him in the trailer makes sense. And I suppose much as I want to see what he's gonna look like in the movie, I also really don't want to have that all spoilt for me by a trailer! Clearly I'm an awkward customer and difficult to please. Sandman looks really awesome though doesn't he? Shame I can't say the same for the Hobgoblin (assuming that's what he's gonna call himself) who (much like the Green Goblin from the first movie) looks like he's out of a much poorer quality comic book movie that doesn't believe in the strength of it's own source material.
Sniffle
Now here's irony: after casting a spell to make me better, Ronnie promptly gave me her cold and I've spent the last few days sniffling or coughing so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. On the plus side I have such a generally crappy feeling that I don't know if I'm still dizzy or not (although the dizzy spell I just had on the way back from the shops would tend to make me think that I am).
So I've not been up to a lot for the past few days; mainly sleeping and feeling sorry for myself, although the sleeping hasn't been terribly successful. I've been having weird dreams, waking up constantly and just generally having a shitty time of it. I have watched an awful lot of the extra features on the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies though. In fact I've only got a few things to go on The Return of the King, and it's all starting to get a bit emotional now, but it really is amazing to see all the work that went into those movies (and how little idea anyone had what it was going to turn into when it was finished!). We've just had Viggo's last day, and even he (or perhaps especially he) got emotional at the end. I also loved the way that on Elijah's last scene Pete just couldn't say call it to a halt and kept calling for take after take even thought they'd already got the shot. Soppy bugger.
We had no water yesterday, which was a surprise. Apparently there was a leak just up the road, but we only know this second had because despite the water company apparently leafleting all the effected houses so we'd know there wasn't gonna be any water until the early hours of this morning, nobody told us a goddamn thing! Still, we got by, I mean it was only one day, and the hot water tank filling up again woke me (surprise!) at about two o'clock this morning so it was over relatively quickly and there was hot water this morning!
The Spiderman 3 trailer is supposed to be going live today, but I expect it won't be until god knows when in the morning UK time, so it'll probably be the first thing I look at tomorrow when I finally wake up.
In other things that aren't getting me excited yet, the Japanese launch of the PS3 is just days away and... I don't care. The line-up of launch software is pitiful (okay, I'd have Resistance and RR7), and I just don't have that kind of money to spend on a games machine. In fact I think a lot of the whole "next gen" thing is leaving me behind because the features they trumpet so loudly (hi def, online play, media centre functionality) just aren't things I want or need, or even care about. I don't have a hi-def TV and am not likely to have one in the next year, I dont play online on my PC or Xbox and have no interest in doing so, and I don't want (or need!) a blu-ray player! I think maybe gaming is breaking up with me. Not that it matters, I've still got my Xbox, a GameCube and an very incomplete collection of great games to play so it's not like I'm gonna run out of things to do anytime soon, and when I fancy something new I'll just get myself a PS2 and immersive myself in all those lovely Final Fantasys I've not been able to play yet...
Charmed
Things took a turn for the interesting last night when Ronnie decided to take advantage of the full moon and her bugeoning interest in things spiritual and decided to cast a spell to make me feel better. Now, we all know what I think about such things, but it's not about me (well, the spell is), it's about expressing your spirituality however you see fit. So I encouraged and helped with research and she worked out a spell with a ritual, ingredients and all sorts of things. Then she did the working.
Now as you may recall from yesterday's post, I felt like crap yesterday. In fact I felt like mashed crap. In fact I just felt so drained and confused I kinda reached a point where I was fairly convinced that I couldn't carry on with Sunday and that I'd like to go to sleep until it was Monday, thank you very much.
Remember we're at the bit where Ronnie works her spell right? Well at the very instant that she'd finished the incantation, I kid you not, I felt my head clear. Just like that, like a strong wind had blown all the fluff out of my head and I could think again. I'm not saying I was miraculously removed of all ailments, 'cos I was (and still am) fairly dizzy, but the impact last night was obvious and immediate.
Wierd, eh?
I've been busy today, and it wasn't until I was mid-way through re-arranging the furniture in the living room that it occured to me that I'm not really supposed to be knocking myself out with household chores, I'm supposed to be getting better! Still, I have to do whatever I can to contribute, so I do housework and stuff. And I think the living room looks a lot bigger now too!
We watched The Corpse Bride last night, which I found immensely enjoyable, but I have to ask: is it wrong to fancy the Corpse Bride? I thought she was way cuter and a much nicer and more interesting person than the living bride that Victor was supposed to marry, and I couldn't escape the feeling that he ended up with the wrong girl there. Maybe that's just me...
Wobbles But He Won't Fall Down
Today is being a very bad day.
I was up early-ish (well, it's a Sunday) to get Archie his breakfast, came back up to ask Ronnie what she wanted for breakfast and then promptly fell asleep until it was early afternoon!
Since then I've just felt about as wobbly and weedy as I have in a long time, and it's not fun! I suppose this is what I get for suggesting that I'd been coping relatively well with the day to day stuff. Frustrating and ultimately unpleasant as it is, I know that it will pass and I just have to let the dizziness do whatever it's gonna do. Still sucks though.
Wobbly Whitby Weekend
Ahoy there me hearties!
Just got back from the doctor, and I've been signed off work for another three weeks (ie until after my hospital appointment). This is both a good thing, and a not so good thing. It's good 'cos it means I can de-stress about the whole work thing, having to make that assesment every morning and then second guessing myself all day really isn't any fun at all. On the other hand, I don't to be off work, I want to be well and at work earning money! I've just got to try and accept it though, 'cos I am getting better and am finding it easier to cope with everyday life generally.
So, what else? Well we had our holiday to Whitby for the goth weekend for one! I was feeling like hell most of the time, but we had a great time! Ronnie bought herself lots of beautiful clothes, shoes and bits, and I got myself a walking stick! Seemed like the thing to do what with me wobbling about all over the place, and there were lots of people there who didn't need one at all, so it only seemed fair that I should get one! Glad I did too, it certainly helps to stabilise me when I'm out and about, and for all the funny looks I get, I'd far rather be labelled eccentric than a drunk! Back to the weekend: we met some cool people, had some problems with the 'official' venue (they'd sold too many tickets so we couldn't get back in when I'd stepped out to get some air after a dizzy), but as we'd met the nice folk who were running the 'alternative' Whitby experience we spent the weekend hanging out with them instead! I couldn't really go into the clubs much, so we spent most of our time on the door chatting to the organiser(!), some of the DJs and anybody else who happened to be passing by. Saturday night we went on a Dracula walk (Whitby features heavily in the novel, is in where the majority of it was written) and had dinner in a lovely Italian restaurant (in fact the only such place in Whitby: if you don't like fish then you are buggered food-wise). Oh yeah, and our B&B was great, lovely place to stay. In fact so lovely we've already reserved it again for next year!
It was kinda odd to get back into the real world too, being surrounded by people who think that putting on a tracksuit is getting dressed! Bloody chavs.
And now we're home again and I'm still sick. I must say though, I was so determined not to disappoint Ronnie and to make sure we both had a good time that I pushed myself to do a lot while we were away, and it has had a positive effect. I'm coping much better with the day to day things, and I also know that as a rule, people are gonna be nice and understanding about whatever the hell it is that's wrong with me!
