This Ol' House
Even before grandma died, Thursday was always going to be the day we cleared her old house out; everything was arranged already, the skip was coming and the council are taking reposession today, so we had no choice but to go ahead. The whole family was there, me and Stu, Mum'n'Dad and Robert and Jean. Dad and Robert had done lots of prep work in the past couple of weeks, so all the carpets were up, the curtains down, and the bits of furniture that nobody wanted were all broken up and waiting. When the skip finally arrived (half an hour late, cos apparently we "weren't on his list", which begs the question of why he turned up at all), we all got to work. Dad said we were like little worker ants, just streaming in and out in a little line, from house to skip and back again. It barely took us an hour to clean out the house and a couple of the out buildings, and then we reminisced a little about the house, or more accurately my Grandparents, and things we'd done there: Dad told us how he and Robert used to play roads on the curb outside, and how they weren't allowed round the front of the house on Sundays; me and Stu remembered spending Christmases there, sending our letters to Santa up the chimney, and Grandad teaching us bizarre card-games that may or may not be for real. Then we turned our back on the house, and Stilton, and left for what is almost certainly the last time.
After hanging about at Robert and Jeans for a bit, we went to visit my other set of Grandparents in Holme, which was fun. They weren't expecting us to come, and you could see Grandma buzzing about like the busy-body she is when she saw my car pull into her drive, 'cos she couldn't work out who it was! Even when me and Stu walked in with my Mum, she still kept goin' on about the car parked in the drive, before my Mum explained that it was MY car... I think she got there in the end!
In the evening I went round to Ronnie's, and we went out for a pub-quiz that her work was holding. I say pub-quiz, except it wasn't in a pub (although there was a small bar!), it was at a community centre that was an absolute bugger to find! Our team did pretty well, we came second. I was pretty tired by that point though, not to mention feeling kinda numb about things, so I'd drift off every now and then, lost in my own thoughts (especially during the sport round!). After that we'd told everyone we were going to HGs for karaoke night, so off we went, but to I just couldn't handle it. I knew it as soon as I got there, the singing and cheeriness, all the people... I just wasn't ready for it at all, and I walked straight out of there and went up the road and had a good cry. I tried to go back, to join in and be there, but I was just feeling so numb and disconnected I just ended up sitting in the corner, with the inescapable feeling I was bringing everybody else down. In the end I just had to get outta there. Lucky we did really, cos I was so tired on the way home that I struggled to keep my eyes open: in fact I nodded off for a few seconds a couple of times, finding myself half-way across the road more than once! I was lucky to get home in one piece to be honest.
Friday, I just slept. That was it; I was dog tired, could barely keep my eyes open, and I slept.
And today, well I'm not as tired, not as sad, not as likely to cry for no apparent reason. Grandma wouldn't have wanted that anyway, she'd have wanted us to concentrate on being alive and making the most of the time that we have. I remember all the times when I was a kid when she used to ask me if I had a girlfriend, and I'm so glad that she got to meet Ronnie, so she got to see that I have at last, got a girlfriend, I've found The One. Took me long enough, eh?
It's a gorgeous evening. Can't wait to see Ronnie later tonight.
Sweet'n'Sour Fried Life
The past couple of days have been... well, I'll tell the story and you'll see, it's been a day when I've got everything I want, and lost something really important.
So, Tuesday morning I get up about 6am 'cos I'm going to Stilton to help my uncle clear out some of my Gran's belongings. I got there plenty early, planning to be a dutiful child and do my bit, only to discover that the council workers had already been (two hours early! Council workers are NEVER two hours early!) and taken everything, and that I had nowt to do. I had a chat with Robert for a bit, then went on my way to see Ronnie, 'cos we had houses to see!
I got to Ronnies and she'd only just got up, so her mum made us all porridge for breakfast (I hadn't had porridge in twenty-odd years! yummy!), and I played with Archie while she got ready, which was cool 'cos Archie has never really played with me before.
Then we were out into the world, looking at houses! The one I showed the picture of yesterday was the first one, and we really liked it. The location is cool (very central, easy to stagger drunkenly back from a night out), and the house itself is nice and modern, with a gorgeous little enclosed garden. We liked it straight off the bat, but there were other places to see... so we went jeans shopping! It was a couple of hours to our next appointment, and we poked about until we found a REALLY awesome pair of jeans. I mean REALLY awesome, Ronnie looked so hot in them I needed to sit down (I coulda passed as a hat-rack!) but the jeans were insanely expensive so we had to leave them. Our next housing appointment was a total farce, it was in a dodgy looking area, and the previous tenant was still there despite having been supposed to leave five days previously! From there we went to another small house, which was much older and less well decorated. The location wasn't as nice either, not even remotely central (I don't think! By that point I was well and truly lost) and with allocated parking. From there it was on to our final appointment, which was in a nice little appartment complex. To be honest, we did like them, although space wise they were a little tight, and there was obviously no garden. They were brand new though, just being snagged, and looked pretty cool, but I wasn't keen on living in a flat again. So, there we were. Still liking the first one we laid eyes on, but not sure if we liked it enough, I called the estate agents to see if we could get a second look. They said sure, but not till late in the day.
That was okay, cos we had something else we wanted to do, and that was check on motorbikes! One of Ronnie's mates had recommended a place to go to, and he was damn right. Even though we went in there knowing effectively feck all about bikes (especially me!), the guys in there were just so into their bikes that they wanted to spread the love. So I found out that the bike I thought was cool the other night is in fact cool, but that parts are now discontinued and if they break down they're pretty much scrap. Instead he recommended the Dragstar as having similar styling, more support for spares, and loads of customizing options! Then he showed us a gorgeous Dragstar he had in his workshop! From there we went to another couple of show rooms, one that was shite, and one that was totally cool and where you could sit on the bikes! Much as I love the Dragstars, and I do, I can see that'll be what I'll be getting, I totally fell in love with the Triumph Rocket III! I was also kinda surprised by how... big and raw bikes are. Which I suppose is the attraction of them, cars are so sterile by comparison, and bikes just sit there being a big engine on wheels with rudeimentary steering! Very, very cool! I'll post pics another day, I'm sure.
From there, we were on our way to our second viewing of the crazy porthole house, when my Mum phoned. My Gran had passed away about half one that afternoon.
That kinda threw me, as you can imagine.
We carried on to our appointment, and the early evening sun had come out, making the whole place look amazing. And we knew, it was the one.
The rest of the evening was here and there: I'd cry, then feel okay, be sad and then all excitable... we went out for a leisurely walk round Whittlesey, stopped off in the Falcon for a relaxing drink and some ice-cream. Ronnie was amazing, as usual, just making me laugh and smile. Her Dad also managed to distract me with a conversation about crappy history in Hollywood movies!
Eventually it was time for me to come home again, which was at least relatively uneventful this time. I chatted to Ronnie again when I got home, and she gave me tips for getting a good nights sleep, and kept me smiling by saying bizarre random things (which has stuck with me during today, and kepy me smiling when I've felt sad).
This morning, Ronnie took the rental application to the estate agents, and paid the deposit for the house! Scary step, but it's what we both want so here goes! It's super exciting too!
There's so much more that needs to be said, about my Gran, about the future, about Ronnie and our house and so many things! But I'm tired, and I've got another big day tomorrow, so I'll say more another day. For now, all I can say is... without the sour, you wouldn't appreciate the sweet.
Picture This!
I had to get up fairly early this morning, 'cos the landlord was coming round to look at some problems we're having at the flat. Given that I didn't sleep much last night, I think today's been pretty productive. I was having a totally weird dream before I got up though, about keeping lots of animals in a converted garage, and having Ronnie's cat Archie in charge of them. I remember there was a lizard that was always trying to get the white rats to lead a rebellion against him, but the bats were on his side... it was a weird dream: Archie had his own special chair (which he actually does in real life, but the dream one was different), and lots of books and a telescope, and was studying alchemy...
Anyhoo, Mr Scott (my landlord) came round, agreed to fix all the things that need fixing, and expressed much admiration for Ronnie's colour scheme for the bathroom (he also liked the way she'd decorated the living room, which I do too, she's made it very light and airy).
I spent some of the day setting up appointments for us to view houses in Peterborough tomorrow.
This is our favourite one, at least from looking at pictures it is. I think it's the windows that sold us, even before we'd seen the floor plan we both had insane grins on our faces, cos its just so different! Anyway, that's the first one, and probably the best. It's dead handy for the city centre too, and I think I actually got lost on the road that it's on last Thursday night! Whether we'll actually commit to anything tomorrow, or if we'll just have a look and a laugh and a bit of fun, I don't know, cos getting a place together would be a big step. That said, indecisive as I am about everything else, I've never been more certain of wanting anything in my life than I am of wanting to be with her, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see!
We might also spend a little time looking at motorbikes. I've always wanted one, but frankly never thought it'd be something I'd ever have. Ronnie however, loves her bikes too, so we were talking the other day about going to have a look at them and dream about what sort we'd like! I really like this one, its a 1998 Yamaha XV1100. Don't know if it's just me, but I think that's one looker of a bike. That said, there may be some reason why having such a bike might get me laughed at/beaten up by other, more serious bikers: I really know exactly fuck all about bikes, I want one in exactly the same way I want a Caribbean Island - sounds like a good idea but I couldn't tell you why!
On a more serious note, tomorrow morning, before we do all the fun stuff, I'm going to help my Uncle clear some stuff out of my Gran's house. I have no idea how emotional that's gonna be, I can be a soft bugger and cry at almost anything given the chance (you should see me at the end of Monsters Inc, or The Iron Giant!), and helping to empty out the house that we used to spend our Christmases in... that might be unpleasant. Still, we'll see eh?
Near Death Experience
Well, I had a great time last night, but things kinda took a turn...
Met Ronnie from work, and was greeted with a great big hug and a kiss from my wonderful gf, then (after a bit) we headed into town to meet up with one of her mates and have a few drinks, then onto the Met Lounge (the club Ronnie goes to! First time I've ever been in there and I thought it was very cool!) but the general consensus was that the band were a bit rubbish, so we left and went to the Q-Club, where both Ronnie and I became full members! We played a bit of pool, and then I noticed Ronnie was starting to get sad, so I tried to cheer her up, but it turns out that all I was doing was irritating her (again!), which I didn't find out till we were going home. I felt awful, all I was trying to do was make her feel happy, with little smiles and winks and stuff...
I was thinking about this on the way home though, and it seems to me that we've had two "bad" periods in the past couple of days, and on both occasions she was so dead-tired it was selfish of me to want to take her out, when really all she wanted to do was sleep (I came to this conclusion cos Thursday night when we were out everything was fine, Saturday morning after we'd rested, everything was fine, early Sunday, before the tiredness set in, everything was fine, and in fact, on Wednesday, even though she was sleepy, we stayed in, snuggled on her bed watching movies, and everything was fine!). I can imagine I can be really annoying under those circumstances too, cos when Ronnie goes quite I have this kinda pre-trained response to kinda do "Twenty Questions" to find out what's the matter (I'll explain that a little. My EX suffered/suffers from ME, and has done pretty much since I first knew her, and she was pretty much always tired and/or incoherent, so often times even if she knew what the matter was (at her worst) she'd find it hard to actually form a sentence to tell me, so I just used to ask her, running through a list of things, and watching whatever tiny responses she gave until I found what it was). That might be all very well with someone who is sick, but with a healthy and capable adult who is just feeling tired, my constant clucking and asking what's the matter is gonna be fucking annoying! So, I need to be more sensitive and aware, and above all make sure that the way I behave isn't influenced by my EX. I hope I'm right about this, I love Ronnie to bits and I don't want to lose her.
On the way home I had a bad scare. I was driving merrily along, when I see ahead two pairs of headlights next to each other. They were a little distance away, and to be honest it being dark I just though I was seeing two cars behind each other, but on a corner. As I got closer though, it turned out I was seeing one car overtaking another, and heading right for me! God knows what the bloke was doin', he didn't seem aware of me at all, and at what probably wasn't the last minute, but felt like it, I slammed the breaks and swerved up onto the grass verge for a couple of yards. I was so scared, I was shakin' like a leaf, the adrenalin of a near miss coursing through my veins. I sat and shaked and cried for a bit, then got the nerve to carry on driving and got myself home. I called Ronnie to let her know I was home safe and sound, and I just broke down in floods of tears: I'd been so scared and it was so good to hear her voice, and it was just a release of all the tension. Honestly I coulda kept talking to her for hours, but I know she's got to work today, so once I felt a little better I let her sleep. I stayed awake for hours though, still with the shakes and feeling glad to be alive. I hugged the t-shirt she sleeps in while she's here; it was comforting, but not as good as hugging the real thing.
Gettin' Out For A Few Hours!
Well, I finally gave in an called Ronnie to ask her if she's doing anything this evening. I don't want her to think I'm bugging her, but I don't think I can stay in this house and not see another human being for another two days, I'd go crackers! Anyway, she said let's go out to the Q-Club and play some pool, so that's good! Now all I've got to do is find a way to spend the next two hours before it's time for me to leave...
Crashing
I woke up this morning so happy and full of love and life. I'm genuinely excited about what's gonna be coming up for me in the next couple of months, and I've been bouncing about like a loon.
And now I'm crashing. I've already done all the things I wanted/needed to do today, and I desperately want to have something else to do, somewhere to go and I just... have nothing. So I'm sitting here, tearful and alone, wishing I could fast-forward to my new life!
Lucky Man!
Man, I was a right dick yesterday. Ronnie was upset about stuff, and due to years of training, I automatically assumed it was to do with me (even though I knew it wasn't! My Ex juts kinda trained me to always be at fault, and I hate that I still have that insecurity and have carried it with me to a new and infinitely better relationship) and... let's just say I feel like I coulda really messed things up - I was needy and whiney and I was lucky I didn't get slapped (or dumped!). Luckily she's amazing, and even though I know I musta irritated her, everything is cool again. Last night we were just daft though. For some reason, even though we just fancied a few quick drinks down the pub, we ended up going to the Soundhaus and really not having a great time, (okay, we were having a shit time, and the music was unexpectedly terrible!). In fact it was pretty obvious we weren't enjoying it as soon as we got there, and luckily having not paid for entry, we just turned round and came home: didn't even finish our drinks!
We woke all happy this morning though, and started talking about moving,
looking for places to live in Peterborough, and got really excited about that! It makes more sense really, I've got no attachments to this place, and she has friends and family in Peterborough, not to mention a job, so it makes a lot more sense for us to go there. And I have family there too, and I liked her friends, so I'm just excited about the whole idea!
Then we went clothes shopping, and I fitted on a truly mad pair of Criminal Damage baggies, and I have to say that I felt pretty damn comfortable wearing them, and Ronnie said they looked good! She tried on loads of pairs, and eventually settled on something kinda similar to the ones I tried, but less spikey. They look amazing on her, I'm so jealous that I won't get to see her in them when she goes out tonight!
It's a lovely evening this evening, and I really want to be out doing... something with Ronnie and her/(tentatitve) our mates! But I can't, I'm stuck here in crappy old Northampton, with nothing to do and no-one to do it with. The sooner I'm outta here the better!
It's Not Unusual!
Yesterday was crazy. I spent most of the day looking for jobs, filling in application forms and generally being very productive, but bored. Then, chatting with Ronnie in the evening she said she was going out for a few drinks with her mates, and I said "Can I come?", 'cos that's what I always say! She said, "Of course", and pretty much without thinking I was in the car and motoring to Peterborough! Ronnie texted me excellent directions that lead me straight to her car, and from there it was into the pub and meeting her friends! They're a sound bunch, really are, I can totally see why they're her mates, and I was accepted into the group relatively quickly, which was nice. I was in a kind of awkward position there, being an outsider and dating the girl ALL the blokes fancy, it woulda been incredibly easy to be hated, but I think I did good. It's also good to put faces and personalities to the names, and see what they get up to! Last night was a karaoke night, and I actually sang (for the first time ever!). It was way fun, and something I never could've done this time last year. Then, when that was over (at about 1am!) we went on to the Q-Club, a pool hall, and hung out there for a while, chatting, playing quiz machines and so on. Sadly I didn't get a game of pool in though. Ah well, maybe next time eh? I finally got home just before 4am, and whilst I was knackered physcically, my mind was still kinda buzzing and I didn't sleep straight away.
This morning I'm kinda tired and dopey, which is understandable. I was also very poor, but I finally bit the bullet and sold my PSP. God knows I loved it as a piece of technology, and god also knows it'd been sitting on my shelf gathering dust for the past four months, so it seemed like it was time. Anyway, I got a decent chunk back for it, which'll keep me going for a while.
In just a few short hours I'll be seeing my gorgeous girlfriend again! I wonder what adventures we'll have this evening, if we even have the strength for adventures...
Deep Magic
Huh, well I don't know
who they've got doing inspections for Ashby-Lowery at the moment, but they were pretty useless; they didn't even look in two whole rooms! Still, I reported my grievances (such as the exploding washing machine) so I guess we need to see what happens next.
I was shattered by early afternoon, so I grabbed a quick nap (much more restful than last night).
Ronnie had called me at lunchtime cos she was having stressful day, so this evening I went over to her parents house to spend the evening with her. We went out and hired a movie, then curled up on her bed with an Easter egg, and watched The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. The film, I thought, was surprisingly good, and reminded me how much I'd enjoyed the story as a kid (although I still want to slap Edmund, the selfish little coward), and the company was superb! It's so nice to just do something simple, like snuggle up together and watch a movie together. I can't wait till we can finally move in together, it's so great to spend time with her, no matter what we're doing. Not long to wait till Friday now!
Inspection Day!
Didn't have a great nights sleep last night, I made the mistake of watching a documentary about snuff movies before I went to bed. Now normally that sort of thing wouldn't bother me, and to be honest it didn't until it got to one particular point... It was a good documentary though, following the birth of the urban legend of the snuff movie, from the Manson family, to Snuff all the way up to the present day. Obviously to really think about whether such things exist you have to travel outside of movie making circles, so there was a fair bit about real life killers and their fantasys, particularly the ones who likes to record their kills. Anyway, none of that particularly got to me, although the bit about the German freaks who filmed their torture and murder of a Turkish prostitute was almost unbearably sad; it's such an awful, confusing, desperate way for a human being to end. No, the bit that got to me was when they talked about the al-Qa'eda videos where they murdered hostages. Now, I'd made the curious decision to track one of those down a year or more ago, and it's really something that I can promise you, you don't want to see. And damn me if everytime I closed my eyes last night I didn't see that bloody thing. So, understandably little sleep, and what there was was seriously disturbed.
Still, nightmares evaporate with the morning sunshine, and after I'd got a couple of hours snuggled upto the night shirt Ronnie was wearing last time she was here (it smells of her!), I'm up and about, waiting for the landlords agent to come and inspect the flat and pass their opinion. Luckily I've got an application form to fill out while I wait...
A Tuesday Of No Importance
Today things shoulda been getting back to normal after the bank holiday, but then normal for me isn't very... normal is it?
I had a nice lie in, although I looked all puffy-eyed when I woke up, which was somewhat disturbing; I don't want to start looking my age!
My hair was still green today (oh yeah, it was green yesterday when we went out!), which was cool, except for when I was in Tesco's and one bloke felt the need to come and shepard his two small children away from me! God knows why, I had tatty jeans, my University of Havana t-shirt, Converse trainers and a blue and red stripped blazer on (along with a badge reading "Blame my parents"), so it wasn't like I was totally freakish or anything, but apparently I wasn't "normal" enough for him. Weird eh?
After that I pottered about with job applications, and erm... played some Ridge Racers. That's about it.
This evening I sat about wondering what we're gonna do in the spare room. It not only needs more tidying, but it also needs some sort of vision of what the room is gonna be. I know it's nominally considered Archie's room, but I'm sure he'll let us put some stuff in there too! I should
start on clearing the garden too, cos we do have some ideas of what we're gonna do with that!
It was a beautiful evening, and made me wish that Ronnie lived here already, so we could've spent a few hours chilling in our (nicely prepared!) garden! Ah well, those days will come... I just wish they'd come NOW!
Just A Perfect Day
And not in a Lou Reed "just prior to suicide" type way either.
So, to pick up where we left off: Ronnie worked Saturday night, and then made a long overdue re-appearance at the Met Lounge in Peterborough! Dirty little stop out stayed out till 6am Sunday morning, which was a bit unfortunate cos she was working at 10am that morning! Amazingly she got up for work, and made it all the way through to 5pm when I turned up to pick her up! We meandered home, and took advantage of the fact that it was a lovely evening to stop at a nice pub on the way home, have a drink and sit outside in the later evening sunshine. She was pretty tired by the time we got home though, and just crashed out almost the instant we got home, the poor thing!
We were up early this morning, and on our way to Hunstanton we stopped by to pick up Ronnie's sister Lisa too! The weather was lovely (the clouds only darkened a little bit when we were playing crazy golf!) and we all had a great time! It was especially great for me for a number of reasons: most obviously I was with Ronnie, but also I was FINALLY at the seaside again after a decade, and even weirder back at Hunstanton after twenty years! It used to be a favourite holiday destination for my family when we were kids, and it was lovely and nostalgic to be back. Weirdly it hardly seems to have changed at all, although I'm sure lots of things, especially details of things and places, have changed, the haziness of memory sees it as almost perfectly preserved. We played quite a bit of Dancing Stage, played crazy golf, ate donuts... it was just bliss. Later on in the day we went to vist Tony, a friend of Lisa and Ronnie's, who owns a lovely static caravan in a nearby town. He was a lovely bloke too, with two soppy dogs. We went for a nice walk down to the beach as the sun was going down, and I said my silent good-byes to the sea, promising it won't be so long before we see each other again next time. Tony rents out his caravan to friends, so hopefully we'll be able to take advantage of that sometime during the summer, it'd be lovely to spend a week there with Ronnie, it really would.
One of the biggest reasons why it was great day though, was that it was just entirely stress-free. Things with the EX always used to be... so stressed and fraught, she was such a snippy... ah I shouldn't assasinate her character when she can't defend herself, let me instead say this: I can't remember any days when there wasn't an argument about some stupid, trivial little thing. And me and Ronnie, we don't do that. There's a level of comfort I have with her, we have with each other, that... it probably sounds boring, but it isn't, it's exactly the opposite, it's the most wonderful, liberating thing I've ever known. It's like, it's like finding the exact spot you fit into the world, like being a jigsaw piece and fitting snuggly into your place in the bigger picture... I don't know how to describe it, but I just know it's right and I feel like I can do anything.
It was a long day, with lots of driving (I drove, 'cos I wanted Ronnie to have a nice day but without having to exert herself or tire herself with driving), and I'm pretty tired now, so I guess I should head to bed.
If I remember, tomorrow I'll expound on my new theory for determining whether an activity is a sport or not...
A Tale of Two Cities
Blimey, been a few days hasn't it? Okay, I'll fill you in...
Wednesday, after I'd signed on I went to see Ronnie, 'cos she'd taken a couple of days off work. Archie was having most of his teeth out on the Tuesday and she was worried that he was gonna be all grumpy, but he wasn't at all, if anything he seemed cheekier than ever, so we had the afternoon to ourselves and went for some nice walks in the country and got ourselves all tired. Then we stopped off at a pub/hotel combo where she used to work (and from where she used to call me to complain about her crap boyfriend!) for a drink and a quick bite to eat. It was cool to finally be in there, it was a place I kinda knew so well from all the time she'd worked there, and I'd heard her talk about it so often, so it was cool to finally put a place to it. We spent a fairly huge sum on the quiz machine in the bar too, and were generally rubbish! This does not bode well for our quiz night in a couple of weeks time! Then we went back to her parents house, and ended up curled up on her bed watching movies. Eventually though I had to come home, but really all I wanted to do was stay there, all snuggled up with her...
Not that I had to wait long! What with it being Easter and all, Ronnie wasn't working Friday so she came down Thursday night! She didn't get here till quite late, so once we'd had dinner we just curled up in bed with a movie.
Friday we had to find ways to entertain ourselves without money! Actually that's not too hard, even if we didn't leave the house there're tons of things here to do: games, movies, music - but we chose to spend the day applying for jobs and then re-arranging and tidying the living room! We moved a lot of the pictures around, put up Ronnie's geckos, and finally got rid of that nasty electric fire! It was weird, cos I've thought about it before, but it's only when somebody else is saying "Oh it looks like the wire comes straight out of the wall" that I can suddenly see the circuit and realise how easy it is to unwire the damn thing! So now it's down in the garage, and in it's place we've a lovely bed of beach stones and candles! We'd gone wandering out to the shops, so deciding we wanted to buy a ton of stones (okay, slight exageration, but they were way too heavy to carry home) wasn't our brightest idea, but luckily it was a nice day, so Ronnie could sit on a bench at the DIY store, out in the sun, while I rushed home to fetch the car! She spent the whole day wearing a pair of my jeans which were obviously massively too big for her, but also looked
really hot on her too... The living room looks really nice now, combining elements of my stuff and hers, to make, well, ours! Sadly my washing machine pretty much exploded last night while we were washing the net curtains. It'd been a little hinky for a while, but nothing serious until last night when it was arcing and banging like a sonofabitch, but it was the triple explosion, and especially the smoke that made us finally decide to turn it off! Luckily I've got a landlords inspection on Wednesday, so I can get them to get me a new washing machine, and complain about a few other things that STILL need fixing! Just hope my clothes aren't too smelly by the time I get a new washing machine...
Sadly she had to come home early today cos she's been working this afternoon, and she's working tomorrow too, but Monday she's off and we're goin' to the seaside! Woohoo! I've wanted to go to the seaside for flippin' AGES, even if it is just for one day! Can't wait, which is a shame, 'cos I've really got to...
Bleurgh
Ugh, today isn't goin well at all. I woke up with a bad throat and a sore back, and I've spent the whole day feeling like I was thinking with a brain stuffed with cotton-wool. I've not accomplished very much, mainly just sat about feeling sleepy, although I did go out about lunch-time to pay a cheque into the bank and felt almost overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who just seem to be dithering about and generally getting in the way. I suppose it's the Easter holidays, and it's bringing all the people who normally stay inside out. I did laugh outloud (couldn't help it!) at one little chav and his posse, cos they must've been all of about 12 and all seemed to have a swagger in their step because they'd grown the worlds least convincing mustaches. I didn't mean to laugh, honestly, but I think I punctured their bravado.
The Big Bizang!
Ooooh, today's been pretty interesting really.
Didn't get up early though, despite Ronnie calling me and reminding me how cold
she was whilst scraping the ice off her car! I felt guilty, but not guilty enough to stop me rolling over and going back to sleep!
When I did get up an hour or so later, I went for a short run (my first in a good while) and I have to say that, tiring as it was, my body felt more alive afterwards than it has in the same good while! So that was good.
Over my morning cuppa I (somehow) discovered the delight of MC Hawking and his brilliant album A Brief History of Rhyme. And yes, it is someone using a voice box like Stephen Hawking's to rap (usually about physics or maths, but occasionally about what a gangsta theoretician he is) and it is surprisingly awesome. Kinda like Pitman, once you get past the joke part, you're left admiring the actual mic skills involved. Good stuff.
Ronnie booked our hotel for Whitby this Hallowe'en, which is awesome. Well, its not a hotel, its a B'n'B, but whatever, same difference right? And we've got four nights booked, so that'll be excellent! I know it's ages away yet, but it's nice to have it booked already - makes me feel all excited!
This evening I watched The Constant Gardener, which was just... brilliant, mesmerisingly brilliant. I mean, really, really impressive. The story was suitably complex, the characters interesting and superbly well played, the love story heart-breakingly believable, the conspiracy all too credible and the setting and scenery is just stunning.
You just get this amazing sense of place (whatever that place may be), and especially you get a real sense of the horrifying ongoing tragedy which is Africa. Really, it's a bloody excellent, adult thriller/love story, and already high on my list of favourite films! I wonder if the original novel could be even a fraction as good: I can't imagine how it'd work, without the raw sense of place of the movie or the very precise way that Ralph Fiennes delivers a line of dialogue... I am however intrigued enough to want to read it and see. But again, top-notch movie, go watch it and be amazed.
And finally, there has been a complaint about me not showing my hair on Friday night, so here it is! I still think it looks cool! What you can't see is the rest of the picture, in which you'd see me rifling through the pay-packet of the woman I love, to make sure we have enough to pay for our night out! Poverty, it makes you do terrible things!
Welcome To The Suck
Wow, today has sucked for some reason. I got up (reasonably) bright and early, expecting to have a fun day and... just didn't. For some reason I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm for anything. I kinda wanted to go out, but it was pissing with rain and I didn't know
where I wanted to go anyway, so I stayed in and watched a couple movies (the excellent Jarhead and the excerable Batman & Robin - just cos it was on TV) and then finished the new Tomb Raider...
Ah yes, Tomb Raider Legend. Where do we start with you? Is it the best TR of the past decade? I'd say undoubtedly, yes it is. Is that saying very much? Er... no, no it isn't. Even the very first TR game was a good idea trapped in shite execution, and they pretty much got worse from there on in, so saying its the best Tomb Raider since whichever is a bit like choosing your favourite terminal disease: they're all shite, it's just a question of which one is the tastiest. So, what can I say about Legend? Well, it looks really pretty, and for the first time EVER you actually feel like Lara has the athletic ability she's supposed to have, the story is compelling enough to keep you playing (well, something had to) long after you've seen all the things you are gonna be able to climb on, jump off, swing round or shoot and Rachel Weisz is so perfect as Lara you wonder why nobody thought of her before. On the other side, the game is short, really short, I finished it in 7hrs, 6minutes and six seconds (it keeps time for you, not a good idea when your game doesn't even last a full weekends play), the last two levels are rubbish (the last tomb took all of 25 minutes on first run through, and the final level is a boss fight which has all the fun viciously stripped off it with the coarse sandpaper of ineptness leaving you just wanting to beat the damn thing so it will BE OVER), the bike riding bits are also rubbish and you'll be glad to see the back of them, and they've knicked the interactive cut-scene idea from Resi 4 and somehow made it less cool. This all sounds very negative, and I suppose it is, 'cos whilst Tomb Raider Legend is an okay game, it falls a long way short of greatness, in fact I'm starting to wonder if it's soul sucking averageness is what's contributed to my less than stellar mood today. Oh yeah, and if you've played the demo and thought that you were gonna see some interesting puzzles using the new physics system, trust me, you aren't: that is actually the most sophisticated puzzle in the whole game, and all you have to do is put some boxes on a seesaw...
Blimey, I guess I had something to get off my chest there eh?
Green Is Good!
Ha! We finally made it to the Soundhaus! And this week, we both wore comfortable (although cool) shoes, and the walk was no trouble at all. It was a great night too, with lots of dancing, only a little bit of drinking, and absolutely no trouble at all! Ronnie looked awesome, kinda like my fantasy of what the hottest punk girl could look like, and my hair was green! Ronnie'd bought this awesome green spray for my hair, and whilst I was doubtful to start with, it did look really good and to be honest it made me want to dye it that colour permanently!
When we first got the the club though, I'll admit that I felt uncomfortable, I suppose like the first time I went to a pub, and then I compounded that by feeling that my discomfort was letting Ronnie down and there was a brief spiral of stupidity before she calmed me down and then I started to relax and eventually dance! By the time the DJs (for it was a DJ-ing troika) put The Raconteurs first single on I was having a great time, which was heightened by their all too brief foray into funk and rap. Ronnie danced on the stage until the bouncer made her get off, which was weird cos she was easily the soberest and cutest girl up there! Maybe she got thrown off cos she wouldn't let DJ Hat (as I call him) dance with her in the way he wanted... the way she danced with me! hehe
When we were leaving and standing in the coat check queue, a little gay guy came up to me, kissed me on the cheek and told me I was beautiful. As I believe I've mentioned before, especially to those of you who know me, I get waaaaaaaaaaay more attention from gay men than I do from straight women for some reason. It was sweet though.
We ended up getting home at about 3am, having eaten take-out and searched the length of the Wellingborough Road for a drink, with aching legs and no sense of hearing, but having had an excellent night! We crashed out, and didn't get up till late, figuring that part of the fun of a good night out is the lie in the next morning!
So, it was an awesome night, as our all too brief times together always are.
Having finally finished the bathroom, yesterday I finally cleared away all the decorating stuff, and having the spare room available again is a wonder. Not that I really use it for much, it's just nice being able to walk in there without tripping over something!
Memory Leak!
I have this peculiar feeling lurking at the back of my mind that there's something I really should be doing, and yet for the life of me I can't work out what it might be. So I'm going to carry on with what I was doing anyway, in the hope that whatever it was isn't important.
Only time will tell.
Hazy Shade Of Thursday
Do be do.
It's been a pretty good day so far. I was up early (again! That makes three days in a row!), and I've pottered about doing laundry, washing up, and painting over the bits of wall I filled in last night (well, undercoated it, I'll apply colour later on this afternoon).
It's quite a hazy, sunny day outside and as it's time to go get the paper and look at today's job vacancies, so it looks like a nice little walk is in order...
Power Nap!
Well, I was up and about early today, although somewhat more reluctantly than yesterday (it was cold outside my duvet!). Nonetheless Ronnie got me out of bed with naught but a phone call (and reminding me that she was outside scraping the ice off her car before going to work!), and my day began!
Actually it didn't begin straight away, I pottered about a bit, posted some job applications (which incorporated a nice walk, it was sunny and blue outside), and when I got home I'd got some extremely flirty messages from Tom Baker! He kept calling me all afternoon too, and was generally really funny.
Unfortunately at some point during the afternoon, whilst lying on my bed basking in the warm sunshine, I fell asleep. This was a bit annoying, as I'd intended to try and finish getting the fittings up in the bathroom. I eventually woke up in the early evening, and got to work!
As you can see, I think I made a pretty decent job of it (yeah, I do have some places to finish patching, that's where the old fittings where attached to the wall), and I'm very pleased with the way the bathrooms turned out! It looks so different from the disaster it was before we started the great redecoration project. It's also given me a lot of practical confidence, 'cos I haven't done anything like that for a long time, so I'm pretty pleased with myself!
I didn't finish that lot till sometime about half-eightish, so I've just spent the rest of the evening chilling out and listening to music (specifically The Champ from Ghostface's awesome new CD!).
And now, I think, to bed!
Time With Me Is Wasted Time
Okay, so I'll start here: Yesterday was a real panic. For some reason I didn't wake up at all until just after 1pm, and this was not happy news. I had an interview today, so I wanted to get my company research finished, make sure my application form was spot on and generally get my self together. To be honest it wasn't that hard to do, I just disliked waking up so late, it's really annoying to be wasting half of my day like that.
So, this morning I woke up nice and early at 8am (when Ronnie gave me my wake up call! Thanks babe!), and I got myself sorted and went to the interview. This turned out to be a total waste of time: they told me that "they weren't really interviewing for assistant managers today", which lead me to wonder why I'd been given an appointment. So my "interview" lasted all of ten minutes, and was a real waste of time. Luckily the interview was at the job centre, and I chatted with my advisor who had a few vacancies she'd been keeping for me, so I had something new to apply for when I got home.
Not straight away however, cos Stu had FINALLY sent my Christmas present! Yes, the LEGO ARC Fighter pictured above has finally arrived at my house, and I had a lovely relaxing couple of hours assembling it this afternoon. He also sent me a DVD (A Better Tomorrow) and an Xbox game (Call of Cthulhu:Dark Corners of the Earth). So it was an excellent parcel to receive this morning! Cheers bro!
I've also spent some of the time having a poke around the Eurovision website, checking out some of this years entrants. Latvia (I think!) is the one that stands out, although there is one insane heavy metal song that I really hope does well - if they actually perform on stage in the costumes they have on in the video, they'll get my vote for sheer nerve! For the love of all that you hold dear though, don't bother with the UK entry, it is an abomonation, and I apologise from the bottom of my heart.
Disco Hades!
So, Ronnie had Friday off and came down to spend it with me! Woohoo!
She got here late Thursday night, but was feeling a bit down 'cos Archie (her adorable little cat) is gonna have to have all his teeth taken out. I ran her a hot bath, (almost!) cooked dinner, and we chatted and she relaxed and all was good. Then we read some Harry Potter and crashed for the night.
Friday we went on a road trip! We'd originally planned to go to the seaside but the weather was a bit rubbish, so we though we'd leave it. First I (apparently!) had to learn some basic self defence moves (a few blocks and stuff, although she cheats and tickles all the time!) and then off we went! We ended up at a huge garden centre kinda thing, with outlet shops (where we spent loads of money! hehe) and a lot of different style gardens to go and look round. I think it's safe to say we both liked the Zen garden best - it was just amazingly peaceful and tranquil, you didn't even notice noises that would drive you crazy the instant you passed out of the gate! It was really cool. Then on the way home we took a trip to see the village she lived in just after I first got to now her, and it's really gorgeous. To be honest, it's the sort of village I'd love to live in now if we could. And although we couldn't go into Ronnie's house 'cos obviously somebody else lives there, it's in a totally gorgeous place, nestling right under the local abbey. Lovely place indeed, made me sad that I didn't visit her before. Might've saved both of us a lot of trouble too, if you think about it!
Friday night we were possessed with the spirit of clubbing and were absolutely fucking determined to get down to the Soundhaus and make a night of it. 'Cos we were intending to drink fairly heavily we were gonna walk into town again like we did last week, but almost immediately our feet were killing us! Nonetheless, despite passing many pubs we persisted on, Ronnie even taking her boots off and walking in her socks! Of course, this being Northampton there was broken glass all over the place, so every couple of hundred yards she'd get a brief piggy-back till it was safe for her to walk again (although oddly she kept spanking me and shouting "Faster! Faster!" as though I was gonna carry her ALL the way...). Eventually we were in sight of the club, we'd made it with ten minutes before you had to pay for entry when... the zip on Ronnie's knee-high boots broke! Try as we might we couldn't fix the damn thing, and so with a mere fifty yards to go we had to abandon our quest and hobble for home. We weren't gonna sodding walk though, so we went to the taxi rank to get a cab, only to see half a dozen of them pull off and leave us stranded and alone! Luckily we didn't have to wait long before another taxi turned up, and we had a very nice ride home with a nice chatty man who even gave us his card, should we ever need a cab again.
To tell the truth, we'd have been no good for dancing anyway: by the time we'd got home we were hobbling about like an old couple with dodgy hips and we just collapsed on the sofa, had a drink and dipped various bits of fruit in melted chocolate until we were tired and went to bed for a well deserved rest!
Today's been fun too, although all we did was potter round the shops (there was a continental food market on up the Centre, that was fun, lots of things to try and taste!) and then Ronnie had to head for home to make sure young Archie was okay.
To tell you the truth the house just seemed empty and way too quiet once she'd gone, so I had to go out for a walk (wearing comfy trainers!) down the park, just to get away from it. Everything seems okay now I'm back again, it's just... I suppose I like her being her, and I want this to be her home y'know? It seems empty without her.
Don't be thinkin' that I'm depressed though, far from it, I'm as happy as a boy can be (well almost, I'd be happier if we lived together [or were married!], in a big house and we had a ton of money), it's just that my little flat seems awful big this evening!
