This Ol' House
Even before grandma died, Thursday was always going to be the day we cleared her old house out; everything was arranged already, the skip was coming and the council are taking reposession today, so we had no choice but to go ahead. The whole family was there, me and Stu, Mum'n'Dad and Robert and Jean. Dad and Robert had done lots of prep work in the past couple of weeks, so all the carpets were up, the curtains down, and the bits of furniture that nobody wanted were all broken up and waiting. When the skip finally arrived (half an hour late, cos apparently we "weren't on his list", which begs the question of why he turned up at all), we all got to work. Dad said we were like little worker ants, just streaming in and out in a little line, from house to skip and back again. It barely took us an hour to clean out the house and a couple of the out buildings, and then we reminisced a little about the house, or more accurately my Grandparents, and things we'd done there: Dad told us how he and Robert used to play roads on the curb outside, and how they weren't allowed round the front of the house on Sundays; me and Stu remembered spending Christmases there, sending our letters to Santa up the chimney, and Grandad teaching us bizarre card-games that may or may not be for real. Then we turned our back on the house, and Stilton, and left for what is almost certainly the last time.
After hanging about at Robert and Jeans for a bit, we went to visit my other set of Grandparents in Holme, which was fun. They weren't expecting us to come, and you could see Grandma buzzing about like the busy-body she is when she saw my car pull into her drive, 'cos she couldn't work out who it was! Even when me and Stu walked in with my Mum, she still kept goin' on about the car parked in the drive, before my Mum explained that it was MY car... I think she got there in the end!
In the evening I went round to Ronnie's, and we went out for a pub-quiz that her work was holding. I say pub-quiz, except it wasn't in a pub (although there was a small bar!), it was at a community centre that was an absolute bugger to find! Our team did pretty well, we came second. I was pretty tired by that point though, not to mention feeling kinda numb about things, so I'd drift off every now and then, lost in my own thoughts (especially during the sport round!). After that we'd told everyone we were going to HGs for karaoke night, so off we went, but to I just couldn't handle it. I knew it as soon as I got there, the singing and cheeriness, all the people... I just wasn't ready for it at all, and I walked straight out of there and went up the road and had a good cry. I tried to go back, to join in and be there, but I was just feeling so numb and disconnected I just ended up sitting in the corner, with the inescapable feeling I was bringing everybody else down. In the end I just had to get outta there. Lucky we did really, cos I was so tired on the way home that I struggled to keep my eyes open: in fact I nodded off for a few seconds a couple of times, finding myself half-way across the road more than once! I was lucky to get home in one piece to be honest.
Friday, I just slept. That was it; I was dog tired, could barely keep my eyes open, and I slept.
And today, well I'm not as tired, not as sad, not as likely to cry for no apparent reason. Grandma wouldn't have wanted that anyway, she'd have wanted us to concentrate on being alive and making the most of the time that we have. I remember all the times when I was a kid when she used to ask me if I had a girlfriend, and I'm so glad that she got to meet Ronnie, so she got to see that I have at last, got a girlfriend, I've found The One. Took me long enough, eh?
It's a gorgeous evening. Can't wait to see Ronnie later tonight.
posted by BadMonkey @ 6:52 PM
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