Road Runner
It's been a long week.
For those who've expressed an interest, I didn't get round to watching a movie on Saturday night, I just started Halo 2 again on Heroic, which was surprisingly entertaining until I started to wish I'd played through the original one again. Still, that's just typical Libran indecisiveness.
Sunday we went to the Charnwood Druid group's Mabon celebration over in Leicestershire. As with summer solstice, I didn't take part, but it was still a nice ritual and Shaz seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards we were all invited back to the group leaders chalet out in the countryside, which was lovely. One of the group members had brought a harp (which she played beautifully) and let Shaz have a go and even though she wasn't playing any sort of tune at all the tonal quality of the instrument is such that it STILL sounded amazing. And we've been invited to a masked ball at the end of October. Which is nice.
I started my new employment at 6.30am on Monday morning, and have worked pretty much flat out all week. I must've put in between 5o and 60 hours this week; it's been hard work. Oddly though, it's been enjoyable work; for all that I arrive home physically exhausted at night, I don't have that soul destroying feeling that I always seem to get from every other job I've ever had, most notably my recent stint with Diligenta. In fact I was thinking today that I always used to envy the people whose job took them out and about during the day, rather than having to be all cooped up all the time, and now I AM one of those people! So after one week, it's all good. Apparently I'll be being trained up on another couple of jobs at the start of next week, and then finish the week with more of the sub-contract delivery stuff I've been doing this week.
After I got home this evening I nipped out in the car to pick up a few bits, and I have to say, after spending the week in a long wheelbase Sprinter, driving my lovely little Focus feels an awful lot like driving an armchair. The contrast between the two was a very odd experience indeed.
The Post We Shall Call Saturday
Well, today has been..., actually let's just leave it at that; today has been.
It started off on the wrong foot when we got to the market and had forgotten the cloths that cover the stall and give it a nice black background and Shaz had to come home and fetch them. That set everything back half and hour. The day itself was okay, fairly quiet and not too many of the regulars, but we did make a few decent sales to new people and that's what will grow the business.
By the time we'd finished though I was so hungry I thought I was gonna pass out, which wasn't good.
This evening Shaz is at one of her pagan group ceremonies, and I'm left here at home. Weirdly I'm not really sure what to do; I was gonna watch a movie, but I'm not really sure that's exactly what I'm in the mood for. On the other hand, if I'm not in the mood for a movie, then I've no idea what I AM in the mood for.
I'll probably work it out just in time for her to come home again...
Ginger
Well the hair dying wasn't massively succesful; apparently there was still some of the cosmic blue hair left from months ago (which I thought had long gone) 'cos the tips of my hair turned a lovely shade of orange! They have been removed and I'm blonde again, although if you know where to look you can still see some of that lovely ginger colour!
I have finally (many years too late) finished Halo 2. I had the thought I was near the end yesterday, so I just nipped back to finish it off today. Part of the reason I'd never bothered before was I'd heard so many people bad mouth the ending, but I honestly can't say why. It's the ending of the middle part of a trilogy, of course it's inconclusive! In fact it's almost the perfect "middle of a trilogy" ending in that it has expanded your knowledge of the universe (so there's seven of them... and the Ark?), deepened the peril (Covenant lunatics wanting the Ark, Forerunner ships in orbit of Earth, The Flood has a guiding intelligence!), and it's seperated the crew with everybody off doing their bit to try and salvage the overall story. Now I'm not suggesting that Halo 2 is in fact the Empire Strikes Back of video games, 'cos it clearly isn't, it just isn't good enough for that, but to complain about the story telling, which is perhaps the one part they got absolutely right is just ridiculous!
Now all I've got to do is make lots of money, buy a 360 Elite and Halo 3 and find out how this whole thing ends!
Southland Tales
Finally a proper trailer for Richard Kelly's much delayed (and oft maligned) Southland Tales has worked it's way onto the internet. I advise all with even the slightest interest to go seek it out, as it appears the Donnie Darko director is on top "what the fuck was that?!" form!
Today should be my last day of leisure (ie arsing about) before I start my job on Monday (as tomorrow is market day, and Sunday there's a druid ritual that Shaz wants to go to, and I therefore must also go). I don't really have much of a plan for today, although I think I'd like to bleach my hair for no apparent reason. So that's a start then...
Random Thoughts From Someone With Too Much Free Time
So I was (semi-)watching Superman Returns again, and much as I love the film and think it's beautiful and all, I wonder if
proper film is gonna get Bryan Singer back again. I mean this is the guy who directed the Usual Suspects for Christs sake, and yet with the exception of the little seen Apt Pupil he seems to have been spirited away to comic-book adaptation land. Now I'm not saying I'm not grateful for that, he did after all show that if you had a proper director, writer and cast then you could make super-hero movies that were actually GOOD and treated the subject matter with some respect. He opened the flood gates that led to the current flood of super hero adaptations, and whilst all this "me too"-ism is clearly no good, you can't blame Bryan 'cos everybody else is shite. I know he's currently shooting Valkyrie, and that's looking pretty exciting, but I wonder does he then have to go straight back to Superman world? Are the fans, or more likely, the studios, cutting down on the choices he has as a director just to get him back where they want him? Actually I doubt it's the studios; much as I loved Superman Returns, I am in something of a decided minority, and I don't even know if the movie has made back it's frankly ludicrous budget, let alone turned a profit. Anyway, I just wondered; does the future for Bryan Singer hold a constant superhero/non-superhero movie cycle, or will he be set free to do whatever he wishes. I kinda hope it's the latter.
In other news, I've been back to playing Halo 2 (AGAIN!). It's just under a week until Halo 3, and oddly (as I never really got on with 2, and don't have a 360) that has somehow rekindled my Halo interest. A little. I have to say that I've enjoyed playing 2 today more than I ever have in the past, and that may just be because I'm seperated enough from the hype to just sit down and play the game as it is. It still isn't great, not by any means, I seem to spend an awful lot of my time running around in levels that are so dark I can't see anything (and not in an atmospheric Doom 3 or F.E.A.R. kind of way, just in a stupidly dark way), and where you have to go and what you have to do seems to me to be both very confused and very confusing. And yet it does have a certain style, a level of production value which marks it out as something out of the ordinary. I think the architecture is what really impresses, oddly enough. Watching some of the documentaries on the collectors edition disc (as I was today) you see that it wasn't the game that Bungie were hoping to make either; they're very open about that after E3 2003 when they realise that what they've put together just isn't gonna work. And whilst they obviously salvaged something from the wreck, maybe even a lot of what they were going for, it just doesn't have the magic that the original had (and still has!). Even the soundtrack isn't as good!
Buster Wolf!
It's been a funny old week.
There've been interviews, family meals, financial crisis, a cool T-shirt, lots of retro-gaming and then suddenly getting a job.
I had an interview at Coral, the bookies, and whilst it was by no means something I particularly wanted to do, it was certainly something I COULD do, and I got on well enough with the area manager that I thought there was a good chance. I was expecting to hear something from them by the end of the week, but as time wore on it became clearer and clearer that it wasn't gonna happen, and that I was gonna have to phone the people who'd advertised in the paper for cleaners... That was pretty much it then and there, game over, no money, the whole thing is fucked. Oddly at one point during the day I think I'd actually said "The Force will provide a solution" and then, Sunday night, out of the blue, the guy I'd done some driving for last year calls me, says he's heard I'm looking for work and could we meet up? By Monday night I'm a delivery driver again, and employed!
On top of all that I suddenly rediscovered my love for 2D beat 'em ups! There's been a lot of Capcom vs SNK, and of course much of the glorious Garou: Mark of the Wolves (from which the newly cool Terry Bogard appears, along with his young protege, Rock Howard!). It's entirely possible that only a video game character could look cool in what appears to be a jacket with a sheep skin collar, but then he is the Legendary Wolf...
There's been loads more that should be written but I just can't seem to find the focus (probably due to a lack of food that is going to become an increasing problem over the next few days until my first pay day), and besides I have fights to fight!
Iron Man!
Things got better as time passed.
I finally got to see the agency girl (Zoe) and she was really nice and helpful and seemed to think she'd be able to find something for me without too much trouble. That was on Tuesday. Spurred on by that I found lots of things to apply for on Wednesday.
Today I had an interview at Coral, the bookies, and despite my initial scepticism I was won over and really want the job! I think the interview went well too; it was scheduled for 45 minutes and I was in there for 80, which is usually a good sign. It's not to say it'd be perfect, there is an awful lot I don't know about betting (such as everything) but I was excited and intrigued enough to want to learn, which can't be bad. I should find out tomorrow whether I get the position.
What else to say? Well, let's stick to the good stuff, which pretty much boils down to this; the Iron Man trailer was officially released on Monday, and it looks completely AWESOME! Whether the finished movie can possibly live up to the sheer awesomeness of the trailer remains to be seen (hell, if it can just live up to the sheer awesomeness of the last 10 seconds of the trailer it will still be made of PURE AWESOMENESS!). So yeah, bit excited about that.
Other than that, not a lot else is either happening or good.
Ah well.
Terminally Stupid
It's been that sort of day today.
I had missions, the first of which was to go see a an employment agency about temp work. No probs, I had an appointment and everything. Somehow I manage to be late leaving, but it's okay I make it to Stamford on time but can't find the place. No worries, I've got my mobile, give them a call receive directions, job's a good 'un. Except the person I have the appointment with has never heard of me, so we rearrange it for tomorrow and I come home again. I complete my other missions without too much difficulty (dropping off repeat prescription, banking Saturdays takings), then I come home. Have lunch, no problem. Start washing up, waters too hot. I try to let some water out but the plug snaps and I can't reach my hand into the water because it's TOO HOT. So I wait. And wait. Meanwhile I have acquired another job; return some faulty goods we received on Friday. Not a hard job right? Well it is if you're me; I can't find the jiffy bags to pack the things, I can't find the address to send them too because I can't find the delivery note (which I have to return too)! I spend hours looking, turn the house upside down and get nowhere. Meanwhile the water has cooled down, so I wash up, but then due to washing icky greasy stuff I have to empty it out and start again and... do exactly the same thing again; water too hot, chain broken.
I'd just give up now and sit down and do nothing, but I have to cook dinner this evening and I have the feeling that isn't going to go well. It's supposed to be a pork stir fry; it'll probably come out as some sort of disaster. On fire.
Not been a great day so far.
Eragon!
Just watched Eragon. What a piece of crap! So many things about it annoyed me, from the pitiful cod fantasy setting and the almost beat for beat re-run of Star Wars to the rubbishy acting (although Malkovich made his lines sound suitably menacing, a true testament to his sheer force of personality) and crappy six limbed dragon with feathers! I bloody hate dragons that have four limbs and THEN wings! What kind of bloody animal have they evolved from exactly? But to give what is ostensibly a mammal feathers? That's just retarded. I swear to this day only Reign of Fire has got dragons right (the male in that particularly is an awesome beast). I seem to remember that Vermithrax Pejorative from Dragonslayer was also a massively cool dragon(with an awesome name), but it's been a long time since I've seen that film, so I could be wrong.
It's very late and I'm tired, but I just wanted to get that dragon rant out of my system.
Beyond The Neighbourhood
I cooked something experimental for Shaz for dinner, and she liked that (pork in a cider and cream sauce, with gnocchi) so that was good. I'd done a bit of prep work for the stall tomorrow and that was well received. On top of that, I've written tomorrows flier and that has proved popular too! I'm on a roll!
Athlete released a new CD this week, I discovered today. How that had got past me I don't know, but dammit I still think they're a happy, wonderful band. So far the standout track on the new recording is Second Hand Stores, which got me thinking about all the good things I have which I take totally for granted. And for some reason they remain one of the few bands in the world who's music can make me weep (either for joy or sadness, depending on the track, sometimes even a complicated sort of melancholy for beautiful things past - witness Vehicles and Animals). They're touring in September, early October and the closest they're coming to us here is in Lincoln. I'd love to go.
Glass Half Empty
Having talked about my insanity problems a little, I've been somewhat re-assured, and have spent most of the week just trying to relax a bit. And it's worked, I feel like I've had a good week and am a good deal more like me than I was at the start of the week. Now all I've got to do is keep hold of myself whilst dealing with the larger issues at hand.
I was wondering though, when was it that I stopped liking things? When was it that I lost that childish excitement for the new and just automatically expected everything to not only disappoint but also be more trouble than it is ultimately worth? Is that a recent thing? 'Cos I seem to remember being excited about Pirates of the Caribbean and Transformers and stuff like that, but I was thinking about some upcoming thing or other (possibly my birthday), and thinking that it was just gonna disappoint me. I wonder when that started, and how to make it stop!
There was something about September that always used to excite me, and not just because my birthday is here. I can almost remember the feeling, the anticipation. I can remember being glad it was the end of summer, and that the nights were drawing in again, a kind of odd excitement about the growing dark. And for the life of me I can't remember why, but I miss it.
You lose so many pieces of yourself as you get older.
End Of The Day
I'm trawling around the 'net, looking for something that'll let me know the day is over and it's time to go to bed; some stupid little thing that is worth finding and therefore makes the day worthwhile.
But there's nothing is there?
I just have to go to bed unfulfilled.
Xbox Day
Today I've been feeling a bit better. Not much, but a bit which is nice. I've also been waiting in for a package which, typically, hasn't been delivered today and now probably won't turn up until tomorrow. That's okay though, as I've used the excuse to move the Xbox downstairs and play games and watch movies all day while I'm waiting. It's nice to have the Xbox back on a big TV again too, I'd forgotten how good it could look (and sound! It's bloody loud), and it's made me slowly increasing desire for a 360 grow the more. Ah well. I've also been offered an interview for next week, when I will of course be running the stall again. I hadn't thought of that at the time when I accepted it (although I did think quite hard if I was doing anything at all), but it's okay I can reschedule it. Told you I'm not at my brightest.
All Alone In The Night
Still not feeling a lot better today (managed to fall over in the bathroom during the night, which is less than ideal - it's not a big room and there isn't a lot of room for falling over without hurting yourself or getting wedged in somewhere), but at least Shaz is and she's back at work (she came home feeling ill not long after I posted yesterday, and despite my best efforts to look after her was a terrible patient!), so that's something.
I've done a couple of things I've not done for a while, and I'm surprised how cool they still are. Firstly I've re-installed Neverwinter Nights (and it's expansion packs) and started playing that again. I just happened to see it on my shelf the other day and thought it might be fun, and lo! it is. At least so far, but then it's one of those games where "so far" goes as far as you'd like in whatever direction you'd like. It is still a very impressive piece of work indeed, and makes me wonder what they could possibly have put in NWN2 to make it worth purchasing. The other thing was that I noticed that the first dozen episodes of Babylon 5 were on our "on-demand" TV service, so I thought I'd watch an episode. Now, I loved B5 back in the day, but I remember the first episode seeming stagey and low budget and with lots of shouting and wild over-acting, but looking at it now I'm amazed how fully formed B5 came into being. Okay I think those criticisms still probably stand, at least for the first 10 minutes or so, but then you get suddenly lost in the plot (which is incredibly daring for a first episode, and very definitely says that this is the anti-Star Trek from the get go). So I'll probably go and watch a couple more of those for the rest of the afternoon, whilst possibly making lemonade.
Weebles Wobble
So far today is not being a great day. Not because of the craziness, that seems to be on a bit of a back burner today, but just because I'm having a shitty day where I can't stand up without wobbling around like a lunatic. I don't know what's brought it on, I've taken all the pills I'm supposed to, I guess it's just.. everything; stress, lack of sleep, that whole thing. Consequently I've achieved bugger all this morning, and I imagine will achieve equally little this afternoon. At least I'm up to date on my applications. Just hope I feel better tomorrow for my agency visit.
I Know Crazy And I Will Use It
The last week or so has been very strange.
Not in a "huh, I wasn't expecting to find a camel
there" sort of way, but in a way that makes me wonder if my mind is unravelling.
It starts with the dreams, or at least that's where I think it starts, and as we have to start somewhere we'll start there. You see I'm not sleeping properly, at all. Just little bursts of sleep, maybe an hour here, an hour there. And I have very disturbed and disturbing dreams (there's the prison dream, where I'm awaiting my own execution, and the cannibal dream which would actually make a really good horror film just not when it's in my head, and most recently the who am I when I wake up dream. This one is particularly odd because in it I wake up and I'm literally a different person every time, which might be potentially cool, except in the dream I decide that as I don't have to stick around for the consequences of my actions 'cos I'll be off being somebody else next time I wake up, I do some utterly sickening things) and then I wake up in the morning, and because I largely have no one to talk to all day, I just sit and brood about these dreams and worry what they mean and what they say about me and then I just start to get afraid of myself and then it's even harder to go outside 'cos I'm worried about my mental state and what I might say or do (I've noticed that my "humour" is getting barbed to the point of cruelty lately, and I don't know why! I'm not trying to be horrible, I'm just trying to join in and be me, but it always seems to come out wrong). And then I don't really sleep the next night and so on and so on. My latest and most utterly bizarre worry is that my waking and dreaming life are slipping into one another and sort of melting together, and how will I be able to tell what's the real world and what isn't? That is the sort of worry that only strikes me late at night when I'm not sleeping, or more precisely when I'm drifting in and out of sleep, and it seems ridiculous now but at 2am it is a concern which is all too real. I'm sure there are other things which worry me, but these are the only ones I can think of right now, which is probably a blessing.
Outside of my insanity however, it's been a pretty good week. Jobs have been applied for, I've given up pizzas (although who knows how long such a thing can last), and the stall did really well both on Thursday and on Saturday. Thursday was tiring, but fun, and I think we're doing it again next week. Sunday we went to London Edge, the big alternative/goth fashion show, and that was really useful too. We got to chat to lots of suppliers, which was good, especially the ones that we've totally and utterly failed to track down on the internet. This should lead to yet another increase in our range shortly (hopefully including boots!) which will be good. In fact I was looking back at pics of when we started the stall today and I'm amazed at how much more stuff we have now than we did when we started.
And finally, we're in September, month of birthdays. I don't know how I feel about my birthday yet, it's just over four weeks away, but if things carry on like this then I don't think I'll be feeling anything good. On the plus side, it will for one day only be my birthday, and on that day I can't be made to go and socialise with people against my will, which will be a gift in and of itself. Not that I really dislike our friends (although to be honest I think of them as Sharon's friends), I just want... hell I don't know what it is that I want. I was gonna say I just want to be left alone, but I don't even know if that's true given the turmoil in my mind. I suppose what I want is some peace and quiet, and people or persons I can actually talk to about serious stuff, rather than the constant low level irritation of name calling and stupidity that seems to pass for conversation these days.
I sound like a grumpy bastard don't I?
Wasted Time
I'm tired.
It's been a long and peculiar week, and as ever my dreams have been unpleasant and disturbed leaving me to question the health my mental state.
Right now it's just after eleven on Saturday night, and we've got to get up early tomorrow (like 6am early) to get down to London for a major fashion show/thing. And I'm here waiting for WoW to finish downloading another patch. I haven't had a change to play for ages, but I thought I'd give it a quick go and immediately ended up downloading what would turn out to be the first of many updates. That's not entirely unexpected, it's not like I've been a regular player just recently, it's just that right now I'm in the middle of an update cycle when I really should be asleep. On top of that, the server is being bloody slow, for no apparent reason, and the download is taking ages.
I'll talk about what's been going on this week later. And maybe, if you're really unlucky, I'll talk about the bloody dreams too.
