News Just In
Well I've been signed off work for another two weeks(!) and the doctor has even referred me to the hospital for some checks. I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand it's good that it's being taken seriously and nobody is accusing me of malingering, on the other hand it's worrying that it could be something more serious than being wobbly.
Also on the vaguely plus side we've finally heard back from HR about my wages, and whilst they freely admit to having made a blunder, nobody quite understands how what happened happened. Still, it's being rectified and I shall be receiving a little bit more money shortly. And I do mean a little.
On now we're off to Lisa's. Still not sure about the journey, it seems like a long way and I'm likely to be confused and wobbly once I get there, but apparently it's for my own good. My Mum used to say that when she made me go to school when I was ill too!
Spoke Too Soon!
Yeah, last night I was thinking I wasn't feeling too bad, whereas this morning I have a serious case of the wobbles and my head feels like it's stuffed with some thought retarding foam stuff. I've got to go and see the doctor again later on today, so at least I have the comfort I knowing I feel like crap, although I
still worry that he's gonna say "no, you're fine, get back to work!" and refuse to write me a sick note. I can't imagine what I'll do if that happens; I'm
really in no state to be back at work, but without a sicknote I'll probably get fired if I don't go... but then in this state I'd just get fired anyway, 'cos I'm useless! Yes, I'm aware I worry too much.
We still don't know what's going on with my wonky pay either; we called HR this morning and got them to "look into it", but nobody has called us back and it's been a fair little while now.
Ronnie's on holiday this week, so she can take me to the doctors later (yeah, that sentence is all wrong, she's not on holiday SO she can take me to the doctors, but a consequence of her being on holiday is that she can), but she's working tomorrow (staff conference) and she's nipped out today to do one of her little part-time jobs. We're supposed to be going to visit her sister later, but right now I don't know if I'm up to it. Guess we'll see, eh?
Incoming!
Wow, for the first time in a long time I actually feel like myself! I'm still wobbly and easily confused, but I actually feel like I have some of my faculties back, and it's cool! I like being able to think again, that's pretty nice.
That's not to say I'll be heading back to work tomorrow, it certainly isn't in my plan and unless I feel utterly fantastic tomorrow it's not gonna be happening. But it does bode well for my triumphant return after my birthday, doesn't it?
And yes, in the midst of all this illness my birthday has been quietly sneaking up on me, with none of it's usual fanfare. That's kinda odd for me, not being all excited and hyped about my birthday. Maybe I'm finally growing up?
Nah, I was just too ill to see it coming!
Short Confession
Truth be told I was pretty down last night. For all that I was putting a brave face on it, I couldn't escape the idea that I was fucking up somehow and ruining everybodys lives, and I was sorely tempted just to walk out and disappear, which sounds incredibly selfish now that I've written it down, but at the time it seemed like it would be best for all concerned. That sounds so stupid now, but for a little while last night I was quite convinced everybody would be better off without me hanging around being a burden.
Also, that was a ridiculously long sentence.
Random Trials, Some Waffle
Apparently there's some unwritten law somewhere which says that nothing in my life is going to be simple.
Yeah, I'm still sick, in case you're wondering, and this is pretty much the nub of the whole problem. See, while I'm sick, even though I'm not working I should be receiving a thing called Statutory Sick Pay, which the government pays to you when you can't work. It's not a huge amount, about £70 a week, but it's something and it would help to keep you afloat. My wages were paid into the bank this morning however, and I received the grand sum of £15.80. Clearly something here is wrong, but it's a Saturday and everywhere is closed so we can't find out what and if it's possible to fix it. It wasn't just my place of employment that was closed though, so was the Benefits Agency and Citizens Advice Bureau, presumably because citizens don't need advice at weekends. The bank have been exactly as unhelpful as you'd expect in a "the computer says no" kinda way, and I pretty much reached my wits end on the way home. Ronnie just seemed to take it all in her stride in a way which struck me as truly amazing. So for all that I might complain about some things I'm a very lucky man when it comes to what's really important, very lucky indeed.
I also missed International Talk Like a Pirate day, which was on the 19th! I've been looking forward to that all year (for some inexplicable reason), and totally missed it. That said I only could've talked like a pirate to Archie, and I'm not sure he would've been overly impressed.
Other than that, things have carried on much as before: I'm still sick, thought not
as sick, so I have at least been able to watch a few movies this week. I enjoyed Spike Lee's Inside Man a great deal, and I thought Gore Verbinski's Weather Man with Nic Cage was amazing (although it was also kinda depressing, in an uplifting sorta way), and I enjoyed Poseidon far more than any sane person should. I've also been keeping my eye on things games wise, and looking at a lot of what's coming out of the TGS. If those PS3 games are even half as pretty as they look, then they'll still be the prettiest thing ever (although did you notice how decidely 'current gen' the animations in MGS4 are? Very odd), but whether that can justify the enormous cost of the console is still open for debate (a very short debate, with a final resolution of "no" - no matter how much I want to play Ninja Gaiden Sigma or Devil May Cry 4). Over in 360 world, Capcoms Lost Planet looks utterly awesome, and Rare have once again made me thankful they didn't give me a job all those years ago with Viva Pinata, a game which is
sure to recoup Microsofts massive outlay for them (please note sarcasm here. I can't imagine at what meeting Viva Pinata seemed like a good idea, or how it continued to seem like a good idea once everyone was sober again). Still, all that money went to Nintendo, so it went to a good cause, right?
Two In A Row!
This morning I went back to the doctors for my blood tests. I don't think that I've ever had blood drawn before, so I wasn't really sure what to expect, but it was all simple and painless. The only thing that was odd was the feeling of having the needle moving about in my arm, and that was so slight it was only noticeable if I thought about it, so I didn't!
Ronnie took me to the surgery this morning, but I had to walk back as today was the day we finally had our new back door fitted! The old one was a nsaty rotting wooden thing that would've fallen apart in a stiff breeze, and the new one is a lovely modern secure door of marvels! We'd been campaigning to have it replaced pretty much as soon as we moved in, so it's nice to finally have it done. Oddly it makes our kitchen look bigger, but that might be because of all the extra light that gets in now.
It only took a couple of hours for the new door to be installed, so this afternoon we broke into our piggy banks (literally! We've no money!) and assembled the princely sum of £20 in coppers and went on a little shopping spree. Admittedly we mainly bought food, but it was still nice for me to get out of the house for a bit, and I didn't notice too many people crossing the road to avoid me either!
Getting back to work on Monday isn't looking promising; I still feel wobbly as hell and am easily confused or overwhelmed (especially by background noise, I can't seem to sort what I want to listen to from everything else with any degree of effectiveness), so I don't rate my chances of being able to do my job highly. Still, there's another two days to go, and we can always hope for a miracle, can't we?
Sick
Wow, been a while eh?
I was kinda getting into the swing of things wasn't I? Well, yeah, and now disaster has struck!
I've been off work for the past two weeks with what is currently being diagnosed as labrythitis, and infection of the inner ear which makes you all wobbly and funny. Except it's not funny, it's like having spent the past two weeks being horribly seasick.
It started off with me feeling a bit nauseous one night after dinner, and sorta progressed from there. At first I was diagnosed as having a general viral infection and given anti-biotics, but when the start of this week rolled around and I STILL didn't feel any better I was back at the doctors again, and that's where the labrythitis idea came in. Frankly I still feel like crap, and concentrating enough to write this while everything is swirlig gently around is making me feel quite hot and bothered. Tomorrow I'm having more tests (blood this time, you don't want to know what was tested first time) and maybe something will come of that.
All I know is that I'm sick of being sick, especially like this: I can't watch movies, or play video games or do anything very much without some repercusion (even reading is troublesome), hell I can't even stand up all that reliably! I make the occasional small trip out to the nearby shops (okay, shop) and I'm fairly sure that my unsteady gait and general pallour make everyone who sees me assume that I'm drunk
at this time of the morning! I'll be glad when it's all over, I really will. I've been a grumpy patient too, and Ronnie is working extra hard having to look after me too (as well as holding down her normal four million jobs). No wonder she's tired, the poor thing.
Over the weekend I was really starting to wonder what the hell was up with me too; I was half convinced that I was subconciously making it up and half convinced that I was dying of a brain tumour; neither would've been considered a good result, so I will admit to being relieved when the doctor didn't call me a fraud and throw me out of his surgery (which was what I was expecting, pretty much).
On the plus side, Archie has been looking after me as well as he knows, and (all too) frequently brings me dragonflies to eat. Whether this is ancient cat wisdom and they would actually make me better, or whether he catches them and then they're too crunchy for someone with only four teeth I don't know, but it's nice to assume the former (whilst suspecting the latter). As long as he doesn't bring in any more live ones we're okay; they're very hard to catch, and once he's brought them inside Archie seems to consider his work done!
And erm, that's it really. At least that's all I can remember right now.
I feel weird, I need to go lie down.
