Working for the Weekend
After a busy start to the week things got quiet very quickly. I still had some work, not really enough, which at least kept me busy in the main. Still I spend a shocking amount of my time worrying about money, where the money is coming from, is there gonna be enough to pay the rent, the credit card, is there gonna be ANY! I hate that it obsesses me so, fills so much of my time and my mind. Stupid money. No, it's not the monies fault, don't blame the money. Stupid bills. They're what's to blame! I wonder if there's any progression to my job, anyway to make more money, but short of working more hours I can't see it. And the hours aren't there right now.
Speaking of which, and our current economic depression, I was horrified to see earlier in the week that both the media and the government were trumpeting Subways promise create seven thousand jobs over the next two years as some sort of good news. In the wake of the massive redundancies and lay-offs being announced on an almost daily basis in actually skilled trades it makes me wonder what they're seeing that I'm not? Maybe they just think the numbers will blind us to the fact that the jobs being created are part time, unskilled and low paid whilst the jobs lost are the exact opposite. And the notion that losing yet more of our manufacturing base and sliding even further into being a pure service economy is somehow a good thing is frankly ridiculous. I was heartened today to hear some bank chairman or other proclaiming that this downturn marks the end of our consumer led economy and the start of something new, although it seems to me he was almost certainly quite happy to lend ridiculous amounts to people who couldn't afford it for the past ten years so there's no good being all wise about it now that it's blindingly obvious to all concerned. One thing I do wonder about is the very concept of global economic depression. I mean, it's a closed system, there is nothing outside of the world that can effect the world market, so how is it possible for the whole planet to be in depression? There's the same number of people wanting the same number of things, and if there isn't someone somewhere that's gaining advantage and winning then I don't see how we're losing. It seems to me that as usual with economics, there's nothing that's affecting the markets but the people who run the markets themselves and they're what's blocking the flow of money. What's even more astonishing is the thing that's making them nervous, cautious even, is their own behaviour in the past! If only there was some way to get rid of these morons and let the world get moving again...
Let's see, what else? Well Fallout 3 continues to entertain and amaze (and make me want to go back and play Oblivion some more), and Guitar Hero WT still has a pretty great set list but the god damned guitar duels are still in it and I'm consistently losing one for no apparent reason. What makes that particularly annoying is that it's blocking my progress. I can feel the need to cheat coming on. On top of that the strum bar on my wonderful new guitar has become erratic to say the least. Strumming down is fraught with danger of missed notes and double strums just generally fucking up your day, so I'm learning to strum upwards. Which isn't as hard as it sounds, in fact it's surprisingly natural. So hopefully that'll help until I can either get the guitar replaced or more likely fixed (I've looked about and seen what switches need replacing!). Oh and I've eaten a lot of jelly beans; they're awesome in that they're low in calories, veggie friendly and just super yummy. Very good for a little treat during the day.
At last the weekend is here. Two days to rest, relax, recuperate and watch the new episode of Clone Wars!
I Had A Clever Title For This But I've Forgotten It
The total fuck-storm that was Saturday at work continued to have a ripple effect at the start of the week as I spent Monday tidying up the rest of the mess that wasn't cleaned up on Saturday. To be fair it wasn't that bad, there were very few drops to do, they were just massively spread out and took a good eight hours. No seriously! The scenery was lovely though, all along the Norfolk coast and it was a very pleasant way to spend the morning. Today was spent delivering in good old KL and was another decent day. Keep that up and I'll have a good number of hours come the end of the week.
Haven't had much of chance to play Fallout 3 until today, although what I have played continues to impress. Although it occurred to me, perhaps later than it should have, that it's Oblivion wearing a nice Fallout suit. That said I'm still astonished that my machine can play it at all, let alone as well as it does, so it's a special kind of surprise and joy to be playing it at all. Makes me wonder what else my PC is capable of from the games of this generation. Guitar Hero WT also continues to impress. The new guitar is great, big and weighty, very responsive and unlike the GH3 iteration it actually works! On top of that the game soundtrack is a marked improvement over Legends Of Rock, with a much more diverse and entertaining soundtrack (Steely Dan, Blondie, Wings and Jimi Hendrix!). I'll admit that I did find things to enjoy in GH3 but after the first two it was a horrible let down. World Tour is a welcome return to form although it still doesn't seem to quiet have the magic of the first two, but then maybe they never can because back then it was all new and exciting.
Speaking of new and exciting, here's another party I'm rather late to; the new Metallica Death Magnetic. I listened to it for the first time yesterday whilst tidying the house and doing various other jobs, and I have to say I was not at all disappointed. That's not to say I had high expectations, I'd never consider myself a Metallica fan, but there are times when their music and my mood agree very well and yesterday was one of those days. I should probably give them a bit of time and appreciation and see what I think, free of the weight of expectations of those around me (for a while there I was running with a crowd where not liking Metallica was considered little short of heresy). Anyway, I liked it.
Tangled Up In Blue
Everything seemed to get on top of me for a while today. Well, not so much everything as the bills, that constant source of worry and stress. I tried not to let it get to me though, and actually sat and rationally worked things through and I could see that everything'd be okay. I had to work today though, more than expected due to someone else fucking up, and when I got home managed to acquire the new Guitar Hero (with guitar!) from the local Sainsbury for the bargain price of £25 'cos they'd been stupid enough to put it on display for that price. I honestly expected them to just say "well it was obviously a cock up" and tell me to hop it, but they didn't and duly handed over the toys. So far I'm impressed too, it doesn't seem to suffer from all the things that made me dislike GH3 so intensely and the new guitar is a fine piece of kit. Of course it's early days yet and there could be stunningly annoying things I haven't encountered yet but time will tell.
Then everything went bad again on the way home, when one my tires went flat. Whether it's been slowly losing pressure and I had somehow failed to notice or has just got a puncture I don't know yet, it's too dark to tell, but it's another expense I can ill afford and really hit me where it hurt. I know it's only money, but somehow the pursuit of it, the need for it to keep a roof over my head and my bills paid just seems to fill my head. I wish I could let go of it. Maybe in time eh?
World Machine
So Boston took up the whole of last week which was pretty good from a work point of view, certainly kept me busy and gave me the opportunity to spend frankly far too much time in said historic Lincolnshire town. Of course that's all done now and I'm back to some days in King's Lynn and some days (like yesterday) doing nothing at all. Well not exactly nothing at all, I've been playing Fallout 3. Yes, my PC, ancient and venerable though it is, is capable of running this modern classic, and running it surprisingly well (as long as I don't turn anti-aliasing or high quality textures on). So far I've wandered, got into trouble, had fights and just generally had a blast. I'm so glad my PC is up to the task, I was feeling all left out there. Makes me wonder if it could handle Bioshock...
What else? Well despite my predictions to the contrary I'm pleased to report that Barack Obama is now President Obama and has started well. Let's hope that he lives up to the promise (which'd be a first for a politician) and actually inspires the American people (and the people of the world to a lesser extent) to be better (which on reflection is even more unlikely).
I'm sure there've been many other thoughts but as usual they elude me. There should be a way I can transcribe my random thoughts during the day into blog form. Or maybe there shouldn't.
He Is The Law!
Back to work today and a much busier day. It started with a run out to glorious Skegness, and then rapidly took a turn when I ended up helping out with deliveries and collections around Boston. Boston I must say is a weird place. I suppose it comes from being so very old and having so much of that oldness still about. Hell it's a place with character, or at least it does in the town centre and around the market square, with old buildings and little tiny narrow side streets. Of course all this character comes at a price, and that price is convenience. Even though there really aren't that many collections to do there is an AWFUL lot of driving about as it's never as simple to go from A to B as you'd think it would be. In fact it seems to be willfully awkward. Still I've only got to help out on this for a couple of days so it's not like it's a massive inconveniece and it's always good to have some experience of a different route 'cos it means I can do more things!
Since I've been home I've been watching Danny Cannon's Judge Dredd movie and it still fills me with mixed emotions. On the one hand it is a pretty piss poor attempt at a Dredd movie and changes many many things, some big some small, for no readily apparent reason. On the other hand, it's also kinda cool to see a version of Mega City One and the Judges on the screen. Some of the details (odd random things) like Hammerstein (or a at least Hammerstein like battle droids) and just the proper uses of Judge names is cool. And despite the changes to the uniform and the amount of time he's not in it, Stallone still is not a bad Dredd. Of course legend has it that he didn't get the irony and satire of the thing at all and fought Danny Cannon every step of the way, so who knows, maybe there was an even better Dredd movie in there fighting to get out? After all Cannon was a long time fan of 2000AD so who knows? There're rumbles of a new Dredd movie getting underway, which I hate to hold out high hopes for but I've seen some of the concept art and that's awesome. Until then we'll just have Judge Dredd, 90s style to keep us warm.
Something that I feel I should've commented on by now is the American Presidential elections and the fact that against all expectations, America voted for a black man for President. It's easy to be sceptical and assume that things will just carry on the way they have in the past, but the outgoing President Bush really had no vision, no ideas and no business running any country, let alone that one. It's an exciting time, although I loudly predicted on the day of Obama's election that he wouldn't make it to inaugguration because I really don't believe that the backward, racist, redneck asshole right wing can stand to see a black president. Not long to go now, and I hope I am very very wrong.
Saturday In Bed. With a Headache
Well my wishes yesterday came true and I had exactly no work of any kind, which was frankly rubbish. As I'm sure I said yesterday, and probably the day before and so on, I remember it being quiet this sort of time last year, but again I have to wonder how much longer I (or we as a company) can go on with no work 'cos let's face it, we need money.
On the way home from the shops yesterday we were behind a car crash. Not really sure what happened, as everyone seemed to be driving along all happily and then suddenly a Fiesta was swerving wildly across the parkway and smashing head first into the concrete reservation. As I was behind I stopped, put my hazards on to try and block the lane, made sure the girl was okay and called the police, who duly came and sent us home because "it was dangerous" (which was why I'd stopped where I had, to try and make it LESS dangerous - not that it helped much, the way people drive is really quite disturbing. Or at least people around here. I drive all over the place for my job and there is nowhere I have ever so such fuck-wittery as in Peterborough. Makes you think. Mainly it makes you think the people around here are fuck wits. My particular favourite was the cretin in the Audi who flashed his lights at me like I'd just parked there and didn't seem to see the steaming pile of wreckage a mere five feet further on). That's about it really as far as that story goes, the police turn up and send you on your way. There's no real resolution, no sense of closure, you never get to find out what happened to the characters... it's a bit like the ending of No Country For Old Men but less clever and appropriate.
Today has not been good; I woke up feeling sick and with a splitting headache and have spent pretty much the whole day continuing to do that and sleeping until it went away, which it seems to have within the past few hours. Not a great way to spend a Saturday, but then there was a new Episode of Clone Wars in my lucid bits so it was all worthwhile in the end.
Waiting. And Why My Vito Is Rubbish
Okay well the van is exchanged, I'm back home and I'm waiting for work to come in. The van I've got to replace my beloved Vivaro is sadly a Mercedes Vito. Now I don't think I've ever done van reviews before, which is entirely reasonable because it's pretty nerdy and tedious. On the other hand, lots of other things I talk about are nerdy and tedious, so why not? I spend a lot of my time in vans and driving (obviously) so let's talk about the Vito and why it sucks.
It just does.
Okay, well let's see, the driving position is uncomfortable, even fully back the seat is too far forward (and I'm not exactly a giant), the pedals are in a wierd position (the brake is slightly raised to getting your foot on it is a little awkward), the clutch is too high, the brakes bite too hard, the vision is terrible because the pillars are in exactly the wrong place. Oh and the handbrake is actually a footbrake as you apply it with a pedal (yes, there are four pedals) and release it with a wierd switch on the dashboard. And on this particular van although I'm sure this isn't generally true, the radio won't just settle on to one station but keeps retuning itself. The only good thing I can think of is that it has side doors on both sides, which is probably just to make it easier to produce it for British and European markets but I can see it being handy for loading and unloading.
Yeah, not a fan of that van. In fact I find it so unpleasant to drive I actually hope that I DON'T get any work today, and that's not something I've ever said before.
So here we go, waiting.
Home Again Home Again
So I had a few hours work this afternoon, just the usual King's Lynn collections. It's easy enough work, but still only a few hours. I'd forgotten how cold it gets in KL. I suppose it's because it's on the coast, kind of, a port town. All I know is that the wind blows right through it and it's a bitter cold wind. So far all I've got lined up for tomorrow is... taking the van to the garage for a service. After that, who knows?
I know we had our quiet patches last year, and that I was sick for the first few weeks of the year anyway but I can't help but wonder if this time it's different. I don't know why I think that, why there's an instant assumption that things will be bad, but, well things never seem to stay going right in my life and I'm just kinda expecting it. I was feeling oddly sorry for myself earlier this afternoon when I realised that things are going pretty well and I am actually rather happy. Which is nice.
I complain rather a lot, and for the life of me I really don't know why. Might need to look into that.
Rant, Assorted
I've just had my only post so far this week and it's a bill from British Gas. Somehow not only have they utterly failed to set up an account for me and take money from my account as requested, they've also sent me a demand for nearly £220 based on their famous "estimated reading". So they've guessed then. And quite wildly as it turns out as the amount of gas and electricity I've used is half what they guess in getting on for twice the time they suggest. Bunch of muppets. I've been on the phone, on hold, off and on since I got the bill, but either they're not answering or their new style bills are making a lot of people quite grumpy, which would be entirely understandable given that it made my heart sink when I first saw it, then it made me angry and now it's just making me fed up 'cos I can't get the bloody thing fixed. Muppets I say again.
While I'm being annoyed let's head back a few days to Christmas and recall how much we all hate and despise the awful spectacle of it's over commercialisation. It is almost the very definition of obscene they way the shops fall over themselves to squeeze every last penny out of you in their desperation, and shoppers buy into this desperation thinking that the only way to have fun is to spend as much money as possible. Anyway Christmas is finished for another year (yes I know it's only just started for Orthodox Christians but for everybody else it was weeks ago) and guess what I saw in the shops at the weekend? That's right fucking Easter Eggs. It wasn't even twelfth night and they had Easter Eggs on the shelves. I'd say it was unbelievable, but it is sadly all too believable and symptomatic of the times we live in. Maybe it's common for people to think that they somehow simultaneously live in both the best of times and the worst of times, but I can't help but look at the world we live in now and wonder what the hell is going on. I can trace the steps, I can see how we got to here from the seventies I just don't understand why nobody looked down the path and said "Wait a second, we don't want to go down there". Maybe they did, maybe there were dissenting voices and they were sidelined and ignored. All that because of Easter Eggs.
I was watching a documentary about prog rock the other night, as you do, and I was really kinda horrified to realise how much I like it. It can be, in fact almost AIMS to be, exclusive and intellectual and elitist, and I find myself loving it's rejection of the three minute pop song. In this day and age of manufactured acts it's refreshing to go back to a time when people who actually played, and played with some virtuosity, took pride and pleasure in their skill and set out to make something someone had never heard before. Maybe I just grew up at the right time, to be exposed to both the tail end and death knell of prog and the birth of it's anithesis punk, but I can't help listen to some of the old prog stuff and wonder why music went the way it did. I'd thoroughly recommend In The Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson to see what I'm talking about.
Welcome to the Future
For all the worry and bad feeling that builds up inside me Christmas was good. I didn't get to go down to my parents till the day itself as I ended up finishing work late on Christmas Eve and didn't fancy all that rushing around. It worked out nicely in the end though and Christmas was great, a nice bit of relaxation and family. And it was great to see my brother again. He's got some very cool new toys to go with his PS3 (well, okay one cool new toy, a VERY cool new TV and let's just say I fully understand HD now). It's a lot of build up and fuss for one day, but I'm starting to understand that it's the build up and fuss that I really despise rather than the day itself.
New Years however means nothing.
Now we're here in 2009 of all places, and the world is largely back to normal, although England is in the grip of what the media rejoice in calling "Arctic temperatures" when they actually mean it's been a bit colder than usual (as I understand it the average Arctic temperature at this time of year is a shocking -34c whereas here it was well above freezing although it might have got as low as -8c during the night). While I was out today doing my deliveries the roads were by and large free and clear, although there were a couple of very out of the way places bathed in shadow that were like long road shaped ice rinks. They were fun to drive on.
What else to talk about? There's so much to say, but I'm feeling pretty tired so to summarise things that I might come back to later we have goodbye to Woolworths; The Spirit; Fox being wankers about the release of Watchmen; why Clone Wars is the best Star Wars in a very long time; how oddly reassuring it was to hear Tony Blairs voice on the radio today (now that IS odd, but somehow he communicates so much better than Gordo and that ease of communication just made me wonder what he'd be making of this current economic mess); why I'm still playing Tekken 5; 2009? How the hell did we get there so soon? and many many more. That's some of the stuff that's in my head.
