The Importance of Being Idle

Theory Of Everything

There is a theory gaining currency in my head that I'm falling apart because I can't accept the way my life has turned out.
This theory has a lot going for it: I was quite brilliant when I was younger, I was constantly learning new things and changing my perception of the world, and I expected big things of myself. And then SHE happened, and I let it all go wrong, very wrong indeed. Now I'm just a mess. I haven't learnt anything new in forever, and I seem to be entering a prolonged period f bitterness about how things turned out. In short, I'm letting myself get old. This is unacceptable.
This needs to be fixed, the situation as it exists needs to be accepted. Okay I'm never gonna be that ground-breaking theorist I expected, I'm not going to change the way people think about ANYTHING, I'm not going to be a professional astronomer, I must accept these things. You know what though? I don't have to abandon the sky, I still have a telescope, I'm still smarter than the average bear, so I should do something about that. I can still enjoy these things, even if they are not my profession. As for that, I still don't know what I'm gonna do for a living, but whatever it is I need to try and make something of it this time. I can't just be killing time here, not anymore. I need to stop waiting for things to happen and make them happen. Hell I'm not going to get another go at this whole "being alive" deal, so I really need to actually DO something with it this time. There are no rehearsals, this is going out live so you do not stop, you do not pause, you do not hesitate, and you most definitely cannot ask for another take.
Now I need to work out what I want to do, and do that, whatever it is. This, after all, is an adventure.

posted by BadMonkey @ 9:35 PM