The Importance of Being Idle

Murdering War of the Worlds

Okay, I realise that my last post kinda left things in a difficult place, what with London being blown up the next morning and all. Suffice to say that, due an unexpected hangover on the part of my travelling companion for the day we missed our train, and were therefore saved. That's a kinda flippant summary of how I feel about the whole thing, cos really although I wasn't physically close to the event, I was in a causal sense close to the event in a "y'know, if I'd been on the trian I was supposed to be on..." kinda way. But I wasn't on that train. Also its not like I have any casual readers who just stop by on the off-chance - the people (or more accurately person - Hi Emily!) who read this know I'm fine. Just thought I'd mention it anyway.
I think it's pretty funny the way the media have been criticizing the police over this too - the media seem to think that just because the police won't tell THEM anything, that they somehow haven't actually done anything. I mean, seriously, how stupid are you guys? C'mon, do you honestly not understand the idea of secrecy? Whatever the police have been up to, you'll find out about it slightly after the guys they're after do. Idiots.
So, ermmmm, what've I been up to? What've YOU been up to? No I really haven't done a great deal of anything the past few days, and I need to start getting things moving again. Somewhere along the line I lost all my momentum, and I'm finding it hard to get it all back again. Still, I'll get there eh?
I saw Spielberg's War of the Worlds. Go on, ask me what I thought of it? What was that? What did I think of it? Glad you asked...
Okay, while I was sitting in the theatre watching it, I was really enjoying it, but pretty much the second the credits started to roll my mind started to pick fault with it until now I can (and in all probability will) rant about it for hours without even pausing for breath. Okay, firstly and most obviously, David Koepps script is bollocks. H G Well's original novel, and to be honest both Welles' radio play in, what, 1938 and the George Pal produced 1953 version used the story to explore the fears of the time. The original novel in particular is a treatise on the arrogance of colonialism, which was at the time apt for the UK, and is now equally apt for the USA. Koepp's script (like all his scripts to be honest) is utterly devoid of subtext, being constructed purely to thrill, like a rollercoaster. But even on that level, it just falls to pieces by ignoring its own rules. If the EMP put out all electrical equipment, why does that digital camera still work? How exactly does Robbie survie the total and complete vapourisation of the hillside with the army on it? Why couldn't the tripods be arsed to destroy that one neighbourhood in Boston? How come, when the plane falls (apparently vertically - and where are all the bodies?) onto Tim & Mary's house, utterly destroying the neighbourhood, how come Rays stolen van is okay? And oh look, a convenient path through the wreckage - again. What is so important about Ogilvy's basement that the aliens search it THREE times in the space of a few hours? And as for the aliens, well okay, kudos for keeping the tripods themselves, but why exactly are the aliens themselves tripedal? That smacks of lazy design to me, too cute for its own good - it's like assuming that we have tracks cos we find tanks to be the most efficient design for a war machine. And speaking of too cute, the aliens themselves are kinda cute and cuddly looking aren't they, with their big dark eyes? The human characters are no better though, Ray has no character arc at all (he starts out and asshole, and ends up an asshole, and is a selfish murdering asshole in the middle) Rachel is claustrophobic (apparently) but then we don't do anything with that at all, for reasons that are quite beyond comprehension Robbie wants to go closer to the tripods because he can... what exactly? As for the mass of common humanity... people just don't act like that in a crisis. Trust me, we've all seen the odd crisis lately, and what happens is that people HELP one another, they don't pull guns on each other, or fight like animals - oddly a crisis brings the best out of us, and makes us compassionate towards our fellow man. So the human characters do things that make no sense - like Ray taking his family to Boston (because what? Mary can end the invasion and make everybody safe? Boston isn't a major city and the aliens won't be bothered to destroy it?), or everybody's peculiar desire to get on the ferry. Now I know WHY they want to get on the ferry, so the movie can reference (ever so gently) the Thunderchild sequence from the original novel, but in this context it doesn't make any sense. Oh no! The Tripods are coming! Let's all crowd onto a slow moving ferry and make ourselves an easier target! Seriously, I can swim faster than that bloody thing, so what was the point? And another thing... Ray murdering Ogilvy. Why? Why not just leave? I mean, he did give you and your daughter shelter in his own home, I think murdering him is the only thing good enough for him. Okay he wanted to fight back, good thought y'know, but he was talking about digging a fucking tunnel to New York, I don't really think he's that dangerous. Also, HOW exactly did Ray take him? I mean, Tim Robbins is like a foot taller and must have fifty pounds on Tom, not to mention the fact that Ogilvy had a shovel and a shotgun. I don't like Ray's chances when he closes that door. Speaking of ridiculous sequences, what was with Ray being sucked up an aliens ass there? And why was it organic anyway? And wasn't it lucky that the aliens just gave up on him rather than having him blown up along with the tripod? At least we can rely on Spielbergs direction to keep things taught and interesting, even when it makes no logical sense, although there's nothing here that you haven't seen before from a visual stand point, which is itself disappointing, cos if there's two things Steven knows how to do its shoot something in a way you've never seen it before, and ruin the ending. Well in this case, he's only batting a .500, cos he does ruin the ending (ooooo look, the aliens came to Boston and knocked over the litter bins!). To be fair, there are a number of bravura sequences in the movie, but its largely a Spielbergs greatest hits compliation, with moments from most of his other blockbuster popcorn flicks transposed into this one, as well as referencing some of his more serious work (most obviously Schindlers List). So, all that said, should you see this? Who knows, I know a lot of people who really reckon it, and I know I enjoyed it while I was watching it, but I also know that as soon as I looked away it revealed itself to be little more than an elaborate trick. Maybe I just expected too much from what I am being repeatedly told is "just a summer popcorn flick". All I know is that I wanted more than the movie ultimately delivered.

posted by BadMonkey @ 3:10 PM