The Importance of Being Idle

You Are The Weakest Link, Goodbye

I despise The Weakest Link.
It's a combination of two things really; the freakshow of the incredibly stupid that passes for the shows contestants, and Anne Robinson. Lets deal with the contestants first: they are, without doubt, the stupidest things ever to walk the earth. I mean seriously their brains must actually be made out of Teflon because it is not physically possible to reach adulthood and have no knowledge in your head at all without there being some mechanism which makes knowledge just slide right off your frontal lobes. There are some quiz shows which actually make demands of you, which require specialised or erudite knowledge, but TWL is not one of those shows. Here is an example of a question from today's show:
"In maths, what is 120 divided by 4?"
This simple act of division very nearly reduced the contestant to a gibbering wreck, but luckily time ran out before she could embarrass herself by actually getting the answer wrong. I guess in her mind it was better to keep her mouth shut and give the impression of being a fool rather than open it and remove all doubt. Other questions of the day asked how many minutes there are in an hour and a quarter (this contestant felt no shame in proving their utter stupidity by answering 'thirty'), and the sack of which city by the barbarians signaled the fall of the Roman Empire ('Milan', apparently). Speaking of the questions (as I vaguely was) what is with this "In maths" bit at the start of a simple sum? Is there some other category in which that would make sense? "In geography what is 120 divided by 4?". No? Maybe entomolgy? International jurisprudence? History? Botany? How about you just ask the fucking question!
This segues us smoothly into the other source of my ire: Anne Robinson. If the contestants are stupid then she is their Idiot Queen. I don't even know where to start with her, so lets just pick a place at random: her alleged cutting insults. She's not funny, she's not witty, she's not sharp, she is, and I hate to say this again, STUPID! Here is my favourite of todays insults "Who is one wheel short of a tandem?". Eh? A tandem has two wheels, like any other bike. So why say tandem? What makes a tandem special is that it has two riders, not two wheels, every bike has two wheels. What the hell have tandems got to do with anything at all? More frighteningly how many wheels does she think they have? And you can have tandem unicycles anyway! Let's see what else do I hate about her? Lets try her supercilious attitude. She stands there, looking down on her cretinous subjects, acting like she knows all the answers, when in reality at least half the time she can't even read what is written on the card in front of her. The number of times I've heard the total lack of comprehension in her voice as she struggles to read something out loud is beyond laughable, its shameful. I just wish somone would take the time to teach her how to pronounce all the 'difficult' words, y'know, the ones with more than two syllables. If the contestants are vacuous idiots then she is a complete knowledge void.
And breathe.
Sometimes I want to go on there just to put that stupid bitch in her place once and for all.
So yeah, okay, I hate The Weakest Link, its Official. I should get a t-shirt made or something, maybe start whatever the opposite of a supporters club is. A detractors club I suppose.
I think the fact that I can get this worked up about something so spectacularly trivial is a strong indicator that I have too much time on my hands, don't you?

posted by BadMonkey @ 5:58 PM