The Importance of Being Idle

Recipe For Disaster

Well fuck.
Things were going so well; I was back at work, making decent money, things were looking up.
Then this happened:


That's my van on Aldenham Street after being recovered by the firebrigade. What happened is too stupid to be believe, but is already having serious consequences. Okay, essentially I had a coughing fit as I was driving, what I now know is called coughing syncopy, and had a near black out. Next thing I know I'm in the van, but the van is at a funny angle and smashed through two sets of iron railing, dangling a wheel over a drop down to a basement flat. First thing I did was check that nobody was hurt, which they weren't, and then I was surrounded by St Johns Ambulance guys 'cos I'd crashed right opposite their training centre. Then there were policemen, and two fire crews and an ambulance. And I told the same story over and over, feeling increasingly stupid every time I did. Luckily, almost verging on the miraculously considering how busy that street normally is, it was all but deserted at the time and nobody was hurt. Once I'd given my statement and been checked over by the paramedics it was time to watch the van being removed from the side of the road, and then everybody just went about their normal business while I sat and waited for the recovery vehicle to come and collect the van and Shaz to come and collect me. The recovery man was easy, Shaz however... She'd set off heroically, and without much of a plan, trying to find an obscure side street in south Camden Town. She ended up by London International Airport about to accidentally board the Walthemstowe ferry. She did find me eventually, but only after I'd stood outside in the freezing cold for three hours, with only my hoody to keep me warm (which it didn't do all that well, which can't have helped my cough really). We eventually got home and I slept.
Today I went to see the doctor. I thought well the cough thing was a bit scary, better see if they can fix that. Sadly that spiralled out of control almost immediately. As I had a near blackout behind the wheel, I've been banned from driving for a week (after I talked him down from a month), and am having a battery of tests over the next few days to demonstrate that, this one coughing syncopy aside, I am perfectly fit and healthy to drive and don't have to have my licence taken away. In all honestly, I felt selfish and guilty arguing that the ban should be shorter, I could've killed somebody! Hell if I'd been half an hour later I'd have ploughed through all the little kids coming home from school, and I don't know how you live with that sort of thing on your conscience. On top of that I'm letting my long suffering boss down AGAIN, and making things difficult for everybody all round. I doubt I'll even enjoy having a week off! Why the hell can't things just go okay for a week? Is that too much to ask? Or is it just me? Am I one of lifes natural failures and this is how things will always inevitably be?
Which bring us back to where we started.
Fuck.

posted by BadMonkey @ 11:31 AM