The Importance of Being Idle

Freaky Friday

Thursday seems to have passed without incident, or at least as without incident as I can recall it to be. Today was fine too, even the early start isn't really as bad as I make it out to be (after all I get to have breakfast on Friday in the down time!) as the almost total lack of traffic makes the journey a doddle. The much heralded snow completely failed to arrive too, which was most pleasing.
So we come to the evening.
Shaz had a druid ritual to attend, and I was left to my own devices. I thought "film" as I so often do, and semi decided to go to the movies. But then didn't at the last minute for reasons I won't go into, and ended up passing the time by driving at high speed (or at least as high a speed as the nations laws will allow for). So yeah, I filled my alone time by doing almost exactly what I do all day anyway. It was weird though, I couldn't settle to anything, couldn't feel comfortable, and somehow driving seemed to calm all that, seemed to if not kill then at least anaesthetise the loneliness inside me. Well, stopping to look at the stars, that helped a lot too. I'm sure I've said it before, but looking at the stars has never given me the sense of inferiority so many others report, I've always felt immensely privileged to be able to see them, even though they haven't been placed there explicitly for my benefit.
I also got paid today. A more than decent amount, and I've spent most of the day thinking about what I'd like to buy myself as a treat/reward. No matter how hard or how much I think though, it's all just stuff and will ultimately do nothing to fill the hole inside me. Even the things that should, and to a certain extent do, really excite me are still just stuff.
Maybe there's just something wrong with ME that needs fixing.

posted by BadMonkey @ 12:33 AM