Demented But Determined
Okay, well the whole starting again thing didn't really start at all, as Monday morning I was struck with a crippling depression that made it a real struggle to even get out of bed (which I eventually did sometime in the early afternoon). So it was really a mess. Today however has been better, I even managed to shave and go outside and stuff without major incident. It seems that I'm gonna have to take the pace of change a little slower, I want to be able to build a new life on this foundation so there's no advantage in rushing this. I realise this seems like borderline procrastination, and to a certain extent it may well be, but I also think there's no advantage in trying to go cold turkey from my current ridiculous life style - all that would achieve would be a brief period of hyper activity, followed by a relapse and falling to even greater depths. I've done this before, in case you couldn't tell.Cool thing I did today was to buy some Christmas tree lights. Not to put on a Crimbo tree you understand, but to use in home decor. All I really wanted when I went out was a string of clear/white ones, to drape around the tapestry-thing of the stars I have over my bed. That worked really well, and looks good (not that anybody but me ever sees it, even less so at night-time) if I do say so myself. However, there were also coloured lights, and I bought them on a whim, and haven't been able to work out what to do with them all day. Ah well, I'm sure something'll come to me, I'm thinking about putting some little hooks up in here and kinda stringing them along the walls... or maybe not, I don't know, that might be a little too much for this room.
I probably had other thoughts and feelings during the day, but I'm tired (up till 3.30am listening to the hockey this morning) and I'm going to bed.
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