The Importance of Being Idle

The Post With No Name

See, this is what's difficult about being unemployed, or at least, what's difficult for me.
I have no purpose.
Right now, this morning, I have no purpose.
I mean, yeah okay I obviously have the purpose of finding a job, which is incredibly important, it being the lack of a job (or more precisely the lack of an income) which is whats keeping me awake at nights, but somehow that task is both too simple and too immense to even properly contemplate. There are an almost literally unending series of ways to find employment, and the very un-boundedness of the task makes it something I am reluctant to become involved in. I'm not even sure that makes sense. If I were unflinchingly honest enough to truly understand myself, I'd say that all the procrastination is about fear of failure. I've been here before, although never in quite these same circumstances, and I always said that SHE was the reason I couldn't hold down a job, hell, couldn't even find one for five whole years. But what if its me? What if this is just the start of another extended period of failure? That's what really scares me, and thats why I find it so hard to actually start doing what needs to be done, cos I'm worried that this won't work out as well as I hope, and that I'll fail again. Fail miserably.
So I sit here with no purpose.
I know its gonna be another day without human contact.
*plays Phantom Planet's Lonely Day*
Yeah, that's really helping...

posted by BadMonkey @ 10:50 AM